POW!!!

I'm reeling from the discovery that anyone actually reads this blog. Unfortunately, despite avoiding most names, someone has identified them self in one of my posts and has taken severe exception to what they found. There ARE people I have criticised and slagged off in this blog, it is my only socially acceptable response to the amount of 'sucking it up' I feel I am often forced to do. If one of the people I've actively criticised discovered this blog and vented their anger I'd be largely unconcerned but as it is someone who now, wrongly feels I have been untruthful to them whilst slagging them off behind their back I am sincerely saddened and seeking to make amends.

 I write this blog for my sanity!

 I find myself in situations where I am expected to be calm and polite and to accept the unacceptable with grace whilst a scene from a Kung Fu movie featuring much blood and carnage plays in my mind. I have been a lot more calm and able to deal with the crap on my plate of late, very much due to the ritual of sitting and writing my thoughts.

 I've apologised with sincerity to the person in question. A lot depends on their response but I think I managed to convey that my apology was unconnected to the connected issues. I am sometimes accused of bullying and insensitivity, so when it occurs and is in fact based on miscommunication or misunderstanding or my failure to convey my true feelings, I will make excessive effort to rectify it.

 I don't really know what I will do if decisions taken today stand: several more people than me MAY have their potential futures damaged as a result of my thoughtlessness -I have asked that be taken into consideration- I would happily withdraw if I have become an impediment.

 "Times are hard and friends are few": This ain't no time for cultivating new enemies!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bon Voyage, Mon Enfant!

Image
It's hard dealing with the lack of communication let alone discussion of my Godson's immediate future. Its hard not to view my part in his recent past as a failure. The point is that it is over and I need to move on whilst there is still some relationship left between us. I'm getting quite 'Zen' in covering my frustrations with calm.  My Godson has always been unwaveringly CERTAIN of any decision concerning his learning that was opposed to mine. He was SURE that the scant attention he gave to his studies would at least yield passes. He dismissed my protestations that higher grades offered greater prospects as irrelevant. In exasperation I finally  reminded him and his father that he was here to go to school and that when that ended he would leave my home. His school career recently ended when he did not secure the grades to enrol into the final year.  My Godson is and always has been capable of cruising through a standard UK education, but it wasn't impo...
Read more

Waiting!

Image
I love working with other people and I absolutely hate it too! I love it when I get people together who agree to do stuff but I get twitchy when they're late and I remember that everyone's doing everything "at risk" unless I'm fortunate-enough to have cash with which to bribe them! Yesterday I completed my proposal for our new proposed Main Project- I'm really pleased with it and very excited to submit it, but it would be a mistake not to share it with my colleagues- they're a great bunch when I can get their attention! I have always to remember that they're not as committed to the company as I am: they joined as a favour to me initially and though they've all benefited from it at some time in the last five years... except Wayne who we all forgot was on the Board -including him lol I can't expect anything from them really. So, I get into waiting for responses and starting other things and forgetting that I'm waiting (I'd get annoyed...
Read more

Laurieston Arrival

Image
I doubt I'll be able to express my true feelings at actually arriving at Laurieston Hall for an Edward Carpenter Community, Gay Men's Week. I'm one of MANY people who regard Laurieston as my "Spirtual Home"- a palpable feeling hits me when I turn off the road onto the drive to the Hall. I was all the more keen to come this year when I discovered that this MIGHT be the last 'Season' that the Lauriestonians welcome visitors- at least for a while, Edward Carpenter Community have been coming here for 31 years. Despite a 12 year gap that ended last year, this is my 15th ECC event and almost all of them have been at Laurieston. There are over 60 gay men here from all over UK. So, getting here was a doddle from Newcastle- apart from taking a wrong turning off the M6 and refusing to trust the Sat Nav when I got to Laurieston (from a new direction) and going 4 miles AWAY from the house until I realised... Oh, and I spun off the road on a country road approching...
Read more