Truth and Reconciliation (almost)
It seems that getting 'signed off work' for "Work related stress and anxiety" was the thing to do! She expressed her surprise- she'd no indication of my distress. I told her it was a first for me in 32 year of work but that it was the only way I could avoid a major meltdown that probably would have ended with me bashing someone. I explained how stressful it was to have a meeting with someone who expected me to almost literally "disarm" myself in every way because ANY dissent or contradiction was characterised as "aggression". I told her that I had needed the two week break more than I had realised and that I was now MUCH more relaxed about the whole thing: I told her I had NO interest or commitment to what was left of my job but that, because my job hunting hasn't been successful and I am still awaiting structural grants to support my community interest company I was forced to return. I said that I wanted clarity from her about what she wants me to do and, rather than stack shelves, I'll do it but without the customary drive and focus I try to give to my work.
The boss did not accept when I shared with her that writing invoices and other bureaucracy on behalf of local people who come into the orbit of a community organisation was common practice- that was with reference to the Finance Manager emailing me to reject an invoice I'd submitted on behalf of a gardener who- did the job asked of him well and in good time, but happens to be illiterate. In the end the boss said that "perhaps there is a conflict of interest between community development work and how [company name] operates." I said that was very obvious.
The boss was at great pains to continue to side with and 'protect' the Finance Manager. It amuses me because the boss thinks the FM is really good at her job. The best FM I with whom I worked was wasted in the worst...??? OK not "the worst" but one of the worst organisations I've had the misfortune of serving. That guy would expose this FM as JUST someone with an awareness of rules. It also makes me question the Boss's understanding
BUT it was ultimately a positive meeting: why should it not be? The Boss got the slave boi she needed! (That's not fair, but its not too far out!) she even encouraged me to share criticisms of what I'd been told/have observed of her development strategy. -Of course I had got it all wrong and what I had witnessed I hadn't really witnessed and other people were responsible for not implementing her vision etc- it must be really hard for her. She caught me about to say "I used to enjoy meetings with you!" so I explained a little about how it used to be, what I didn't explain at the meeting was that it took five months of being kept in the dark and avoided to change that to rancour.
In concluding she confided that she was having "legal advice". I said that was good because so was I and that if my job description altered too drastically, I had been advised that they would have to renegotiate the contract. She mentioned that redundancy might be on the table. Well "DUH!"!!! They should have offered me that MONTHS ago!
Nevertheless, hatchets seem buried and not embedded in heads so, its a plus.
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