Another One Bites The Dust!

A reason for no blogs since November has been because we were asked to take in a lad whose placement had come to an end because his former carers were old and had health issues. I will write up stuff about our holiday in Menton...

It was just before Christmas when I was contacted about this lad and I felt cornered. There is supposed to be a get-to-know-you period before placements, but it has NEVER happened! It is ALWAYS an emergency.

I've repeatedly asked for a companion for the lad for whom I already care, but the lad they asked me to take on has additional needs. Rather than being a companion, and, despite being an year older than the lad I look after, it has felt like a liability having him around!

Christmas was shot, as I feared going anywhere with this unknown entity who gave me constant SULLEN on full blast... I won't rehearse all the issues here, but I found myself ready to throw in the towel by January and initiated the proceedure. The following day, supposedly unprompted by anyone, he apologised for being so difficult! I was amazed of course and, thrown. Before this he had shown zero empathy or awareness of his impact on others. So, I suspended the action and tried again... Let's just say that it has not been a success... There has been progress! But it is mixed with the arrogance of a sixteen year-old so it is hard to separate the diagnosis he carries, from stroppy teenagerdom.

In any case: since I have reinitiated the end of the placement, I feel so much better! It has been slightly strange that the lad has been acting as if the end of the placement isn't imminent, but it is. The bottom line is that I cannot "look after" someone who makes no attempt to take on anything I tell him or try to guide him and, who has no intention of changing anything about himself despite obvious problems as a direct result of his 'lifestyle'. He won't take responsibility for himself and has grown used to people facilitating his desires because of 'his diagnosis'. Of course I am aware of his challenges, but I believe that if he is allowed to grow to the age where there is no more social care support for him without him learning how to navigate the real world outside the social care bubble, he will be in serious difficulties very quickly. 

yes, I am critical of the well-meaning social workers, who immediately side with the child's posible distress without accepting they may not be brushing their teeth because they can't be bothered. Without critical FRIENDS he will find life after care almost impossible! (IMO)