Making the Ideal Partner

I went out with a girl at university who thought she could mould my sexuality to her convenience, I got the hots for her brother! I stopped seeing her.

Last night I visited a friend who has 'got back together' with a woman with whom he has had an on-off relationship for several years. Whenever they get back together she does exactly the same thing: she criticises his lifesyle, clothes- everything until he has had enough sex and kicks her to touch which gives her reason to don the sackcloth and ashes and tell the world and her auntie what a bastard he is and what she'd done for him etc etc.

She sat there with a face like the proverbial slapped arse for most of the time I was there- I would have left before I did but I was hoping the dense fog might lift. It was classic non-verbal communication of angst or "sulking" and we're not talking adolescent here (by a long chalk) -though mentally perhaps...

I don't get it how people can hook up with people who are nearly what they want/need and who think that they can change that person into what they really want in a partner. That's an insult in my book! If a guy lives a lifestyle that you don't approve it seems silly to me that you would chase him at all, let alone repeatedly. Any port in a storm? Any well in a drought? But how could it work without one or other side ultimately resenting the situation? 

She was pissed with me too because I refused to back up a couple of her (frankly silly) observations. In fact, the things to which I responded were so petty and insignificant it seemed an obvious goad. She wants my friend's friends to agree with her that his life needs to change radically so that she can "save" him from his lifestyle by taking him to live with her- where he is unable to do any of the things he can do living alone such as not immediately wash up after meals or dress as he pleases. -Don't get me wrong: my friend needed help, but not control. In fact he is one of the least controllable people I know "maverick" doesn't cover it! I feel sorry for the woman: she's already going too far after only a couple of weeks and it is obvious to all except her.


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