No Talent and Cleaning!

There's a tradition at these events to have a talent show/cabaret towards the end. When I first encountered this at Laurieston it was great: a mixture of "party pieces" and first-timers sticking their necks out to overcome fears and perform often for the first time it could be moving and profound. Performers did so in the certainty of a good response. Sadly for me; that perfect audience meant that literally anyone would then step up- the worst- and final such event I attended was at Laurieston about 15 years ago where some guy subjected the audience to 23 minutes of "improvised piano"... He'd never played the piano before in his life. The "rules" meant that nobody could give him the hook, so they sat there like sheep. I left. The Faeries have entrenched that further by calling their events "No Talent Shows" and people are told "The worse you are, the more we'll love you!" Perhaps it is my background in training performers but... No, just no. Possibly the worst part is that often- as last night, these events can go on for HOURS! Last nights was approaching 3hours long.

Sod that!

I'd volunteered for post dinner wash up but was a little dismayed to find that the cooking team had seemingly washed nothing as they prepared the meal so there was a mountain to shift! I got stuck in and noticed how dirty the kitchen had become so it became a bit of a mission to get it into a state where I'd personally feel comfortable that amateurs and volunteers were preparing food I ate. It was also something positive to contribute when I was avoiding the show. I do not think the floor has been mopped or some surfaces cleaned since we've been here! Arian joined in and we did a pretty good job... Later; a midnight feast took place including one of the "organisers" there were a load of people hacking away at a huge block of cheese and eating boxes of crackers. I happened to know that the cheese was for lunch today but they seemed uninterested. There are a couple of international visitors who creep me out in minor ways, one is just old and a bit cantakerous and they're both quite fixated by food: I often see them eating and the older one saunters his way along queues because nobody will challenge him. He has a habit of placing a chair in the entrance of the circle of chairs in the Gun Room causing an obstruction but seems to like that point because he can observe conversations. I have tried talking to him a couple of times- I've seen him here before, but it is very odd- he simply ignores me. I often hear him moaning and whinging about food, when is lunch, where has the breakfast bar been moved to etc. I have not seen him make any overt contributions but I have not been looking! Hey!- This is real life: it would be nice to like and get on with everyone, but there are some people I happily avoid after one or two attempts to make contact. I also recognise a couple of people for whom it seems to be a difficulty in dealing with a black man (shock horror!!!) a couple who are intimidated by me for no discernible reason and others for whom I'm definitely not cool enough for school. Having said that: there are around 80 people here now and no shortage of people to meet and engage.

That sort of thing makes me sad because it is a reality bite about the perils of community: I would definitely want to live in community with anyone who wanted to live in a truly communal way, but some people think they're being communal by letting other people do the work whilst they observe and criticise. There is in fact, nothing to MAKE anyone make overt contributions here and some take advantage of that quite happy to pay their way rather than work it! Hmmmmm..... Sometimes I think I'm just not cut out for this Faerie lark: I am too focused with things being done so that I can relax and have fun, the faerie way seems to be- It'll all be alright- which it usually is, because of Faeries like me who make sure of it. I think I need something that is the love child of ECC and Albion Faeries: both organisations could learn a lot from each other.

Wood Child came! I picked him up from the station-eventually as his train was early and we were waiting out of sight of each other for half an hour. Jason and White Rose were there too.