Aaah, that's better.

What a difference a day makes and all that! I felt a bit flat and rudderless yesterday. Doom and gloom. Where do I go now? How do I survive this latest turn of employment events? What's going to happen to my company?

The tenant at the building we've been supporting came to get files the owner asked to be returned. It seems the owner remains opposed to my participation... I think she believes I was to get some personal benefit from the project. I also think that she doesn't believe in my ability to raise the funds- which is fair enough I suppose: all she's heard is promises so far, though I thought I'd explained why I'd not been able to give it 100% untill (ironically) now. I suppose I COULD produce proof of the £19m plus I've raised over the last 30 years- at least £6.5m since I've been in Newcastle, but if there's no belief or trust there's nothing. So, its gone back to first principles: I will continue to help my friend to do the things he wants to do and to support the other guys involved in developing their businesses. This is an easier ask than renovating the whole building, though I got another indication today that we're close to being offered a "structural grant" for core development. Most importantly; things are still good between me and my friend.


I received an invitation to bid for the asset transfer of the building I've been managing for my last employer and have enthusiastically embarked on drafting the plan. My company is too small to have been considered with any credibility, but the fact that I've actually been doing the job for 18 months carries some weight. I have been able to introduce elements to the bid that few others will know about. I have contacted groups I worked with there and they're ALL eager to support the idea! (wow). That's brilliant because it adds even more weight to the bid. A side issue is that once the council has a viable proposition it will make life more difficult for my old employer who has refused to sign a lease and is effectively 'squatting' there (although they're paying for the running costs) will find it difficult to stay. I'm not particularly vindictive towards them, but they don't want to be there and are blocking access to the last community asset on an under-served estate like a dog in a manger as my mother would say. 

I ALSO found a really interesting job for which I am applying. It suits me very well so I am giving it a good go BUT... I regard it as a backup. If I can avoid working for anyone else, I will! At the same time, it would be irresponsible not to pursue all possibilities: better to have choice!

AND I'm cultivating a friendship with a 35 year old doctor who works for the Air Ambulance in Hartlepool!!! That is more than shocking. I keep trying to put him off, but he'll have none of it. I once said I'd never date anyone 16 years younger or older than me but when a really cute, sorted adult who can converse sensibly begins to actively chase an old fart like me it would be... churlish not to explore. LOL. Having low expectations is an effective defence!