Wildewire

A reason for no blogs since November has been because we were asked to take in a lad whose placement had come to an end because his former carers were old and had health issues. I will write up stuff about our holiday in Menton... It was just before Christmas when I was contacted about this lad and I felt cornered. There is supposed to be a get-to-know-you period before placements, but it has NEVER happened! It is ALWAYS an emergency. I've repeatedly asked for a companion for the lad for whom I already care, but the lad they asked me to take on has additional needs. Rather than being a companion, and, despite being an year older than the lad I look after, it has felt like a liability having him around! Christmas was shot, as I feared going anywhere with this unknown entity who gave me constant SULLEN on full blast... I won't rehearse all the issues here, but I found myself ready to throw in the towel by January and initiated the proceedure. The following day, supposedly unpromp...

  OK so he doesn't actually stink! -Mainly because I force him into the shower most mornings, but I have an on-going issue about his personal hygiene and keeping his room clean. I ask him to do very little else- apart from cleaning up any mess he makes: I clean, wash, shop etc, ALL he has to do is keep his room and his body clean... But he does not do it. I have tried every response from calm understanding to incadescent fury, nothing works. I get 'the face' while I am talking to him and while he is forced to rectify the issue, but it is clear that anything I say or impression left is lost almost as quickly. Last Thursday, I discovered that he had let his room get to a completely unacceptable state so I told him there would be sanctions- the last time I saw it this bad, I had previously warned him I would make him empty his room and clean it thoroughly before replacing each item into the room. It took most of a day (mainly because he was being deliberately slow which had no...

October 7th: Hamas fighters used hang gliders to cross Israel's border and attack a festival. 1,400 people were reported killed or taken hostage. Israel (under Netanyahi) lost their shit and started retaliating almost immediately and things have been increasingly nasty ever since. Internationally, the mantra has been "Israel has the right to defend itself". The American president, Britain's Prime Minister and the EU council have all parrotted that statement. Meanwhile MASS protests e.g. an estimated 500,000 people in London are taking place across the world as citizens show their support of Gaza. Israel says it understands that Hamas is not Palestine, but that has not stopped them cutting off power, water, food and medicines to the people of Gaza whilst they and, to drop thousands of bombs and missiles onto a population that is trapped by Israeli checkpoints and restrictions. Israel instructed two million Gazans to flee south in two days and that route was then bombed...

  I've been using the app formerly known as 'Twitter' in the last few months. I joined in 2010, but the idea of sharing my unasked-for thought with "The World" didn't attract me so I all but forgot about it.  I think it was when I was on holiday that I began to look at it more as I idled away hours. I was shocked to find a LOT of porn on it! -Not that I shied away that much ;-). Before long, I noticed a preoccupation with a handful of subjects: 'Getting rid of the Tories', 'The State of the Labour Party under Keir Starmer', 'Harry and Meghan' and, 'Trans Rights' etc. I moved from 'Observer' to 'Occassional Commentator' but have rarely actually initiated a tweet. I got my first singe when I supported a post from @Pride challenging anti Trans arguments. I was immediately attacked with some eye-watering accusations that my agreement signalled my endorsement of Child Abuse and some insanity about Gay men being forced...

  I found myself chatting with Sanyotse when we returned from Turkey. He casually let slip that he was "keeping up with [his]Chemo", whch shocked me. I vaguely knew he had some health issue, I didn't expect it to be chemo-worthy. He mentioned that he is lonely. I immediately told him I would be coming before the end of the summer holidays with or without the lad. I made it clear to the lad that I wanted him to come, bus that this was not going to be a holiday in the sense of being in Turkey: there would be minimal "activities" and, the aim of the holiday was to chil. If he did not want to go, I was going to arrange for him to stay with his previous carers. He chose to come. I warned him that I would not listen to any moaning about being "bored"! Sanoytse has a place in Normandy called La Pigasse. It had been briefly marketed as a retreat space- the page is still on Facebook. I remembered it being launched and said at the time that I thought it would st...

  I hadn't been out of the country for... eight or more years! I owed it to the lad to give him a holiday worth talking about when he got back to school. It took me a long time to decide where to go, the lad wasn't much help. Turkey seemed obvious: not too expensive and full of holidaying Brits from what I could see. There were a load of packages on offer. I eventually booked one. Normally an "all inclusive" deal would have put me off, I wasn't going for myself but for the lad. Yes, that IS the truth: I WOULD have been content to have stayed at home LOL. As it progressed I was disappointed to find out how much was NOT included... I persuaded Raice to cat-sit. He said he appreciated the time away from his mother! Things went wrong from arriving in Turkey: the holiday company had booked the transfer from the airport to the hotel when I called and asked about travel from airport to hotel. That wasn't included. I found out that was a 127 mile trip and almost cance...

This year is the seventy-fifth anniversary of the arrival of the Empire Windrush in Tilbury carrying 500 people from the Caribbean. TV schedules are full of documentaries revealing little known details like the fact that it was the owners of the ship who offered a rock-bottom fare back to England because they did not want the expense of an empty ship back to Blighty. More interesting was to learn of the PANIC amongst British politicians when they found out about the ship. Secret memos reveal worries about Black people taking up their RIGHT to settle in Britain. It showed that the British were happier taking people who had fought against them as SS officers and spoke no English than Black men who had fought FOR Britain, had been fed 'British culture' all their lives and believed they were going to help 'the motherland'. 'The Windrush Scandal' grew out of the Tory "Hostile Environment" strategy which suddenly required people who came to Britain before 19...

  I  got sacked! I've never been sacked before- I've " flounced out"  a few times but never actually sacked- let alone for "Gross Misconduct"!!! So, what was my heinous crime? I had been working as a Children's Advocate for an organisation that sees itself as the lead in its field.  As an advocate, I am not supposed to transport kids with me in my car... I am also a Foster Carer. As a foster carer, I am encouraged to transport kids with me in my car... On the weekend of King Charles' coronation, my foster son asked me if I could take him out. I had been working very hard and had not made enough time for him so of course I agreed. I remembered the plight of an unaccompanied asylum-seeker who has been holed up in a hotel not far from us. He had been complaining that he never leaves his room and was very depressed. I asked my foster son if he'd be up for this lad joining us, he was up for it so I contacted the lad in the hotel and I was on the way t...

  The only real problem about my London trip (apart from the expense) was my inability walk far or at a reasonable pace before having to let the blood vessels in my legs recover! There was a minor scare with the place I stayed as I'd got the wrong house number, but the room was clean and I only really wanted somewhere to dump my bags and kip so it suited fine. It took me ages to work out how to buy a ticket and use the underground so I ended up being late to meet my lecturer friend at a pub near Goldsmith's. We had some dinner and then I went to see a couple of friends from 'Basement' days. Ubered back. The day of the wedding i somehow walked all the way down Oxford St on the way to the Actors Centre*/ I met Leon in St Martin's Lane and we had a long chinwag. The Actors Centre is now 'The Seven Dials Playhouse'. I spoke to a (frankly comical) 'Receptionist' when I got to the space. He told me that they had "Rebranded" with such a distinctiv...

So, I'll be wending my way 'dahn sarf' on Friday to be at a friend's wedding on Saturday.  This will be my first visit to London for three (?) years. I've known about this since last autumn but I confess a slight but growing anxiety as the day finally approaches. I was completely shocked by the prices being charged by allegedly "budget" hotels- not far off what i used to pay for a month's rent in Newcastle for just TWO NGHTS in London! The place I found has cost me £179, is not far from Baker St and looks pretty scruffy! I don't really intend to be there much- check in, drop bags, head for Deptford, meet a couple of friends, back to digs, up next day, breakfast en route, wedding (which is on the outer edges north of London), back to digs and train back on Sunday morning. I can't pin down the source of my anxiety apart from the sheer number of things that could go wrong starting with getting to the station- taxi or bus? Its a bank holiday, how w...

OK so talk about "random convergences": a LOT has been on my plate these last couple of months. I have definitely been 'dealing with it' but "wow"!  On top of caring for my foster young'un, it seems to have been the season for friends having emotional melt-downs. I have 'been there' for a couple of people and it has felt good. I've had moments of fearing I was getting back into my Mr Fixit trip, but this is very different, for a start; I was sought out each time. I'm most worried about the youngest one who in my opinion is being fcked up by his parent. It reminds me of 'Steptoe and Son' -the son constantly trying to improve himself and at least leave whilst the father sabotaged his plans and attacked his self confidence and self worth at every opportunity- all so he would not be left alone. The parent in this situation has systematically pushed everyone away, including their other children leaving this lad to shoulder their bullsh...

So, when my 'charge' asked if he could spend Saturday with his 'girlfriend' I was surprised how uncomfortable I was. Part of me hoped he'd just forget about it but that was never likely. I said I'd onlu consider it if I spoke to a responsible adult. I eventually spoke with 'the Mother' on Friday so off he went the next day. I was surprised about how preoccupied with him I was all day. The fact that I'd not actually met the mother and that all I had was an address and a telephone number bothered me. -After all; according to Children's Services are concerned, every adult with whom he comes into contact is supposed to have a valid DBS certificate. -Then I got into knots about what is was or was not necessary for her to know about my charge. After MUCH internal torture I decided to make sure that the mother knows not to leave the children unsupervised as the basis of the care training I have received. The lad came back from his 'date' very ex...

  What a week that has been! And this one offers equal excitement! Phew...Where to start? Adjusting to the responsibilities of my 'charge' has been surprisingly tiring- not that I've been gambolling over fields after him or anything, in fact; we seem to have slipped into a routine that 'works' and allows -nay inspires me to do a lot more writing whilst he is killing people in computer games :-( . Nevertheless, I'm almost ashamed of the relief I feel once I've warngled him into bed AFTER STANDARD ABULTIONS (!!! LOL).  So I came across this Job Advert which interested me -I wasn't even looking for a job, I think I was actually deleting job site subscriptions when I recognised an acronym I'd recently come across in all the Fostering stuff I've been trying to assymilate. I misread some of the details (which will be important below) and found I matched the Person Spec and thought there'd be a way to do it whilst fostering as it was another branch ...

I found myself thinking (lol) a lot about my friend's current struggles and about how he had stumbled, almost against his will, onto something that worked to lift his mood: acting happy! Of course it was more than that, but that was the basis: He realised that he had the choice of going to work with a visible thunder cloud surrounding him. He also knows that if he had done that, his colleagues would have asked him what was the matter, he would have been disinclined to answer or engage properly with them which would have created even more tension. In stead, he chose to put a brave and relaxed face on. Instead of finding that hard to maintain, he said that it became easier as the day progressed and that he actually began to feel happier! I was extremely pleased and tried to get my friend to think about the basics of Neuro Linguistic Programming. I know that a lot has been over-claimed for the benefits of NLP but it HAS been around for a LONG time and there is clearly something in loo...

OF COURSE; the payment I was expecting on Thursday didn't come. I had to contact people and found that 'it hadn't been processed so they were just going to wait until the next pay run (in a fortnight) and sort me then. LOL. I made it clear that was not an option and a "favour" was allegedly performed to release the funds by Tuesday... As EVERY deadline in last three years has been missed, I'll not be holding my breath! It is annoying because one of the barriers to me becoming a Foster Carer was that I didn't want to do it when I needed the money. It has take over a year to get to this point during which time I have been discouraged from continuing to seek external work and so I am dependant on this cash. -Which focusses my mind even more on being THE BEST I can be... which is not entirely healthy as I have been wrestling with fears that the lad will be bored because I can't talk with him about computer games and the sorts of things that fourteen-year o...

OK, we're getting used to each other and finding a routine. Highlights (or perhaps that should be 'lowlights') of this week centred on taxis. I paid for the first day but had a fright when the car was late and the despatcher told me i hadn't ordered it! Things were sorted on Tuesday and ran smoothly for the next couple of days. On Friday, the expected driver didn't show up and could not be found by the company! The lad was 30 mins late for school. I remain concerned that he is so insecure that he will say what he thinks I need to hear whch is irritating. He has been a typical fourteen-year-old in other ways- asking to go out on his bicycle at inappropriate times- with him not having a 'phone I am more reluctant than I would be otherwise. When I DID say "yes", he was back in less than twenty minutes, beaten by the cold which he said wouldn't matter. Mick came over on Thursday as usual and it was clear we're going to have to make some changes as ...

I am already unimpressed with the SW assigned to my charge. As a Black man, I do not say lightly that it appears there are two obvious reasons why this Black woman has her job! She is the sort of 'worker' who does no more than she thinks is necessary so, sending an email to someone last Wednesday was, as far as she was concerned, all she had to do to expect that thing to be done. She did not bother to find out that the person to whom she had sent the message was not at work until today. Of course, I dealt with the issue, but when I contacted her to ensure i would not have the same problem for the rest of the week, all she did was tell me what she had done. I told her that I was uninterested in the administrative workings of her department, just that it had failed. I asked her to take responsibility for addressing the problem and contacting me when she had done it. All I managed to get from her was a commitment to copy me into a message she sent to the person to whom she had sen...

Soon after I'd finally been approved to foster I was contacted to find out if I'd accept a lad who needed temporary "respite" care. In principle I was able to do it as long as it fitted in with my lodger who was moving out and the kid they'd started the process of placing with me on a potential long term basis. I was unsurprised not to hear anything, then out of the blue I was asked if I'd take a lad the next day "for the week end". That 'weekend' became a week during which I had a half day visit from my prospective placement whilst hand-holding and cattle-proding my lodger into his new place. Of course, that meant THREE sets of social workers to deal with AND the current carers of my 'placement'. At times it was like Piccadilly Circus.  A 'complication' arose when the lad who was here 'for the week end' announced that he liked being with me and wanted to stay. I was not averse to it but my 'placement' was the ...

They were to have been here last week, but Spencer caught covid. It was all a little rushed, but worked out in the end. Mick and me spent a lot of the day together and decided to go by taxi to Ouseburn. Raice dropped by to get some stuff for his mother and I invited him after his boxing practice. We picked him up and got to the venue. Time was getting short, but I'd made arrangements for Spencer to come back to mine after the gig. Spencer hugged the hell out of me! I haven't seen him for 35 years! The scrawny kid with the broken wrist has filled out and is taller than me. I haven't hugged ANYONE for so long that is was a little strange! I wasn't at all prepared for the gush he gave me about the impact he said I'd had on him! I was delighted and embarrassed. I needn't have worried about them getting a good crowd; the place was pretty well packed. It turns out they're popular on the festivals circuit. I mused that they'd go down well with the Faeries, but ...

He lived opposite me, he was there before I arrived. Jeff got to talking with him and found out that he had brought up sons on his own after their mother left. I never saw anyone else at the house. it was several years before we struck up a greeting relationship and a few more before I found out he was called "Jimmy". We often encountered each other to and from the local shops. He was a character. He liked to put people's bins back into their gardens after the binmen came -except his immediate neighbours: they were... odd and secretive, they objected to Jimmy 'going onto their property' so he'd leave their bin out. They moved out and the new family are much nicer and interacted with Jimmy. Jimmy hung two England flags from the first floor windows which always made me smile. Last week I noticed they were no longer there. I had a bit of a thought, but dismissed it. A few days later I happened to pass the front of the house and thought I could see into the room, ...