Fostering Deep End!

Soon after I'd finally been approved to foster I was contacted to find out if I'd accept a lad who needed temporary "respite" care. In principle I was able to do it as long as it fitted in with my lodger who was moving out and the kid they'd started the process of placing with me on a potential long term basis. I was unsurprised not to hear anything, then out of the blue I was asked if I'd take a lad the next day "for the week end". That 'weekend' became a week during which I had a half day visit from my prospective placement whilst hand-holding and cattle-proding my lodger into his new place. Of course, that meant THREE sets of social workers to deal with AND the current carers of my 'placement'. At times it was like Piccadilly Circus. 

A 'complication' arose when the lad who was here 'for the week end' announced that he liked being with me and wanted to stay. I was not averse to it but my 'placement' was the priority. It so happened that they met and spent time with each other twice and it was obvious to me that having TWO young'uns of the same age had definite advantages. my biggest fear is that the kids would be bored with me. Of course, the SS could not countenance the idea of me taking on BOTH the kids LOL. At one point they were even considering sending him to Carlisle!

By the end of the week I had some clear ideas of some of the 'games' the 'respite' kid was playing: he comes from a part of the city where posturing is important, there is a lot of 'show' and attempted/implied threat which I laughed at. The kid is fourteen and is trying to act fourty. I wasn't told what brought him into 'care' but found a couple of things by the end of his stay, most important to him is the fact that his father was sixteen when he was born and pretty much doesn't know how to bring the kid up. I let him get away with some minor disrespect but made it clear that if there had been any question of him staying with me they would not have been tolerated. I suppose that with his background his disdain and suspicion of fruit and vegetables should have been no surprise, but it was irritating. The sad takeaway I had from looking after him for a week was that he thought I was 'soft' and that he could get what he wanted from me. I suppose it is just as well that he didn't have to find out.

I thought I was prepared for this fostering lark, but when I had my 'placement' for an 'overnight' yesterday it was immediately screamingly clear that there are some fundamental lifestyle changes I need to implement to put the kid at the centre of what I'm doing- at least until 21:00 hrs (22:00 at weekends)! The lad does seem keen, but he is desperate to have some sense of long term stability so is probably likely to have said 'yes' to almost anything, bless him. I have not had the support I was told to expect, which, after three years of involvement with the SS does ot surprise me at all. My 'placement's current carers and me have taken the bull by the balls ourselves  not least because they are 'Respite Carers' who took my 'placement' on "short term", but that has now become seven months. The lad comes wit his own issues, but who doesn't? I feel good and confident about it, though I still fear messing it up.