New Village Spirit

I went to Leadgate yesterday to meet a group of older people who're comparatively new to the village and who have started new community activities largely because they found what was on offer restrictive and cliquey! My friend warned me that they might be friendly with the self-proclaimed leading light of the village: the person who had refused to accept grants because he thought his organisation could do without them and yet complains about the lack of public sector support he receives for his activities. The reality couldn't have been more different, this group identified the "leading light" as a force for stopping things from happening. What is more: as they have been drumming up interest for their ideas a common refrain from villagers has been to the effect of : they'd do it as long as [the leading light] isn't involved. I felt sorry for him. I also found out that he had been rather over-egging his military career: When someone says they were involved in "Military Intelligence" most civvies think towards spies etc. It transpires his job was more to do with interpretation of arial photographs.

The meeting wasn't all about slagging off the leading light. I explained that the owner of the building had said she wanted nothing more to do with 'my' company, which had stalled some of the ideas we'd been developing and rendered redundant two major funding applications for the building. They discussed approaching the owner to purchase it, but wanted to know about the likely costs to make safe the asbestos roof. Despite FIVE promises from different people I still have only a guestimate to work from. They felt that if the owner was still willing to sell the property for the price she'd originally mentioned they could see themselves working towards it BUT at the same time they were unwilling to take on the organisational responsibilities. I had suggested that creating a charitable incorporated organisation would be a useful thing as funders show prejudice towards CICs. Although we have been eligible for all of the applications I've submitted for the project, the fact that they'd been delivered by a CIC was a problem, I feel confident that, had a charity submitted them at least half would have succeeded.

After a meeting in the flat we looked around the shed and talked about what could be done without the building being renovated by using tents inside as well as out, sorting out the yard even more and creating an external space for activities from the late spring. It was a real tonic to encounter some enthusiastic, positive people who understand planning, were asking and saying similar things to me and with whom I am sure I can work. I am more than happy to be in the background with these people to ensure my friend and the other projects being developed at the shed can thrive. Whilst they agree with the heritage aspect of the project, they also accept the logic of looking for alternative spaces to house the projects in case the owner changes her mind suddenly and leaves everything high and dry.

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I got a phone call from the Artistic Director of Eclipse telling me that they'd decided not to offer me the job for which I'd been interviewed, because 'my idea was very strong and formed, but it wasn't what they wanted to do'! I was surprised and reminded her that I had asked for clarity about what they'd wanted AND that I'd been careful to say that I'd run my ideas by her before doing anything to ensure we were "on the same page".

Actually, I accepted the decision quite quickly - what choice did I have? But I was trying to get off the 'phone because the more the Artistic Director spoke the more I thought "This is bullshit! They're fucking afraid of me!" - Of course if that's true it was right to save us both heartache! Worst of all: they too decided that they'd not got what they needed from the interviews so have scheduled second interviews in January. I am honestly unsure how I would have responded to that. My "career" has been peppered with jobs I have taken out of enthusiasm, passion and drive only to end up working for organisations that lacked the capacity and or vision to realise their own aims. Whilst i have real respect for this organisation and for the director's force of personal conviction etc, it cannot claim to be the strongest of organisations.

All in all, my biggest disappointment is to have lost out on the salary! As someone who prides himself on NOT taking jobs for the money I might earn, that is telling. It also reminds me of my conviction about wanting to work for myself... It is NOT that I am so arrogant that I believe nobody can manage me! It is more about not being able to deal with people who will hold back my development whilst NOT offering alternatives and causing the work to suffer. I thought that this job would have given me a lot of freedom to interpret how it could be done well, it transpires that there is perhaps a prescribed way that they want the job to be done, but they want applicants to guess what that is! So I think ironically that, had they offered it to me it might have been good because I would have been able to discuss what they needed before I did it, but I am not overly distraught,