Chugging Along

Wednesday already! How did that happen? I'm not made for this sort of existence. More Stir Crazy each day. 

Eclipse have invited me back for an interview for their "Enabler" job which would be nice as I wouldn't be desk-bound and would be able to continue to develop my enterprise and community support ideas. The interview's in the afternoon so at least I should be able to do the drive in daylight. Got to get the windscreen wiper fixed first.

I'm continuing to job hunt like a good boy. I haven't found anything that really excites, though I completed an application to join a regional funding body today LOL. Poacher-turning-gamekeeper! Though I very much doubt they'll invite me for interview it keeps the Universal Creditors off my case. How stupid that is: the hours I spent completing the application for something in which I'm interested in the sense that if they offered it to me I'd accept it, but it doesn't really get my juices flowing. The Universal Creditors feel like they're doing something if they make people like me waste their time. Its the intellectual equivalent of moving rocks from one side of the prison yard to the other and back again.

Its hard not to be sidetracked by what might happen if the council agrees to the EOI I submitted on the Cowgate Centre. I'm trying not to think about it too much, but at the same time; I need to spring into action on several simultaneous fronts if I get a green light. I'm hoping that my colleagues will also become more active once we get hold of he building, I don't want to have to do everything myself and then have them swan in and criticise! I will need to be uncompromising to make it work and I am really afraid of working for someone else who turns out to be... like most of the people for whom I've worked in the past!  It is funny: I have been thinking a lot about how often I've stepped out of the limelight to make space for others for fear of being thought a meglomaniacal bully, but I still have something of that reputation. I have to wean myself off that Shy Bairn routine and try to grab stuff with both hands! The number of people I have encountered who have little to offer save their self-belief and an ability to convince others is surprising. Its all very well smirking inwardly at their lack of integrity, but their tactics have got them into positions I sometimes covet. 

I finally submitted a requested project outline for a proposed "Maintenance Week" at Featherstone Castle next year in advance of the Global Gathering. My slight tardiness was caused by not being confident how to 'pitch' a proposal to a group of people who revel in their rejection of rules, labels and structures. In the event, I think it was fairly well received except the Main Man clearly didn't read what I sent because he made a gently snide remark about having expected more to do with painting. Typically of me, I saw that painting without preparation was futile: some of the upper rooms are unusable due to black mould, the mould could be painted over but what's the point of that? 

I have to go to see the Universal Creditors tomorrow. I have run out of cash, though I'm hoping Eclipse will send the expenses money they promised ASAP. The lodger finally has his first session with them tomorrow. I think he is going to get a shock that he need and I certainly can't give him. When he fails to comply with the 'commitments' they'll ask him to sign and get's sanctioned- I fully expect that to happen swiftly.

I am already getting to the point of losing sleep worrying about maintaining my mortgage payments. I'm pretty sure I am paying over the odds anyway but I have a kind of inertia about digging up the documents and trying to deal with it. I have promised myself to make it a priority tomorrow.

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