Wildewire

OK so talk about "random convergences": a LOT has been on my plate these last couple of months. I have definitely been 'dealing with it' but "wow"!  On top of caring for my foster young'un, it seems to have been the season for friends having emotional melt-downs. I have 'been there' for a couple of people and it has felt good. I've had moments of fearing I was getting back into my Mr Fixit trip, but this is very different, for a start; I was sought out each time. I'm most worried about the youngest one who in my opinion is being fcked up by his parent. It reminds me of 'Steptoe and Son' -the son constantly trying to improve himself and at least leave whilst the father sabotaged his plans and attacked his self confidence and self worth at every opportunity- all so he would not be left alone. The parent in this situation has systematically pushed everyone away, including their other children leaving this lad to shoulder their bullsh...

So, when my 'charge' asked if he could spend Saturday with his 'girlfriend' I was surprised how uncomfortable I was. Part of me hoped he'd just forget about it but that was never likely. I said I'd onlu consider it if I spoke to a responsible adult. I eventually spoke with 'the Mother' on Friday so off he went the next day. I was surprised about how preoccupied with him I was all day. The fact that I'd not actually met the mother and that all I had was an address and a telephone number bothered me. -After all; according to Children's Services are concerned, every adult with whom he comes into contact is supposed to have a valid DBS certificate. -Then I got into knots about what is was or was not necessary for her to know about my charge. After MUCH internal torture I decided to make sure that the mother knows not to leave the children unsupervised as the basis of the care training I have received. The lad came back from his 'date' very ex...

  What a week that has been! And this one offers equal excitement! Phew...Where to start? Adjusting to the responsibilities of my 'charge' has been surprisingly tiring- not that I've been gambolling over fields after him or anything, in fact; we seem to have slipped into a routine that 'works' and allows -nay inspires me to do a lot more writing whilst he is killing people in computer games :-( . Nevertheless, I'm almost ashamed of the relief I feel once I've warngled him into bed AFTER STANDARD ABULTIONS (!!! LOL).  So I came across this Job Advert which interested me -I wasn't even looking for a job, I think I was actually deleting job site subscriptions when I recognised an acronym I'd recently come across in all the Fostering stuff I've been trying to assymilate. I misread some of the details (which will be important below) and found I matched the Person Spec and thought there'd be a way to do it whilst fostering as it was another branch ...

I found myself thinking (lol) a lot about my friend's current struggles and about how he had stumbled, almost against his will, onto something that worked to lift his mood: acting happy! Of course it was more than that, but that was the basis: He realised that he had the choice of going to work with a visible thunder cloud surrounding him. He also knows that if he had done that, his colleagues would have asked him what was the matter, he would have been disinclined to answer or engage properly with them which would have created even more tension. In stead, he chose to put a brave and relaxed face on. Instead of finding that hard to maintain, he said that it became easier as the day progressed and that he actually began to feel happier! I was extremely pleased and tried to get my friend to think about the basics of Neuro Linguistic Programming. I know that a lot has been over-claimed for the benefits of NLP but it HAS been around for a LONG time and there is clearly something in loo...

OF COURSE; the payment I was expecting on Thursday didn't come. I had to contact people and found that 'it hadn't been processed so they were just going to wait until the next pay run (in a fortnight) and sort me then. LOL. I made it clear that was not an option and a "favour" was allegedly performed to release the funds by Tuesday... As EVERY deadline in last three years has been missed, I'll not be holding my breath! It is annoying because one of the barriers to me becoming a Foster Carer was that I didn't want to do it when I needed the money. It has take over a year to get to this point during which time I have been discouraged from continuing to seek external work and so I am dependant on this cash. -Which focusses my mind even more on being THE BEST I can be... which is not entirely healthy as I have been wrestling with fears that the lad will be bored because I can't talk with him about computer games and the sorts of things that fourteen-year o...

OK, we're getting used to each other and finding a routine. Highlights (or perhaps that should be 'lowlights') of this week centred on taxis. I paid for the first day but had a fright when the car was late and the despatcher told me i hadn't ordered it! Things were sorted on Tuesday and ran smoothly for the next couple of days. On Friday, the expected driver didn't show up and could not be found by the company! The lad was 30 mins late for school. I remain concerned that he is so insecure that he will say what he thinks I need to hear whch is irritating. He has been a typical fourteen-year-old in other ways- asking to go out on his bicycle at inappropriate times- with him not having a 'phone I am more reluctant than I would be otherwise. When I DID say "yes", he was back in less than twenty minutes, beaten by the cold which he said wouldn't matter. Mick came over on Thursday as usual and it was clear we're going to have to make some changes as ...

I am already unimpressed with the SW assigned to my charge. As a Black man, I do not say lightly that it appears there are two obvious reasons why this Black woman has her job! She is the sort of 'worker' who does no more than she thinks is necessary so, sending an email to someone last Wednesday was, as far as she was concerned, all she had to do to expect that thing to be done. She did not bother to find out that the person to whom she had sent the message was not at work until today. Of course, I dealt with the issue, but when I contacted her to ensure i would not have the same problem for the rest of the week, all she did was tell me what she had done. I told her that I was uninterested in the administrative workings of her department, just that it had failed. I asked her to take responsibility for addressing the problem and contacting me when she had done it. All I managed to get from her was a commitment to copy me into a message she sent to the person to whom she had sen...