The Wanderer Returns
I sent a terse message to my erstwhile young lodger telling him that as I had heard nothing from him for three weeks I was looking forward to receiving four months of back-dated rent yesterday. That got his attention and he said he was coming back... In the end; I collected him.
It is hard to explain the mess into which he has slid without breaking confidences. Suffice it to say that it is as I predicted. He has a choice: to go back to the life and contacts that contributed to him getting into trouble or to start something new at my gaff- away from those influences and supported to make better decisions. I KNOW how to get what he needs from the authorities to which he has to report, but none of the advice I or others have given him has he implemented. He will break down and be contrite when he fucks up, but it is as if he thinks that apologising will make everything alright. He tends to say things he seems to think I want to hear. Consequently; when I speak to him I can rarely be confident that he has heard, let alone understood or taken what I have said on board.
He now needs help I can't provide but I am willing to support. In the meantime; I need him to take the money he now owes me seriously and I need to take some concrete steps for the immediate future to protect myself from financial ruin- or MORE financial ruin lol. He is definitely a lot of trouble, but I can see its not all his fault. I am a sucker for an underdog- especially when it is clear that I can actually help. The problem is that the underdog needs to want to be helped and needs to understand what he will have to do for that help to be effective. This guy talks of his commitment to changing his life- when he has fucked up, but once things begin to be rebalanced he will slide and go on a bender and stay away because he knows I would not tolerate such behaviour. But this has got to stop. I have made long term arrangements that I'd put off when he moved in to provide Supported Lodging to young people leaving Care, on behalf of the local authority. If the kid pulls his socks up by the time the process for me to be accepted on the scheme has been completed I will put myself on the reserve list, if not, he will have to go. I worry about what will happen to him if he doesn't wake up.
It is hard to explain the mess into which he has slid without breaking confidences. Suffice it to say that it is as I predicted. He has a choice: to go back to the life and contacts that contributed to him getting into trouble or to start something new at my gaff- away from those influences and supported to make better decisions. I KNOW how to get what he needs from the authorities to which he has to report, but none of the advice I or others have given him has he implemented. He will break down and be contrite when he fucks up, but it is as if he thinks that apologising will make everything alright. He tends to say things he seems to think I want to hear. Consequently; when I speak to him I can rarely be confident that he has heard, let alone understood or taken what I have said on board.
He now needs help I can't provide but I am willing to support. In the meantime; I need him to take the money he now owes me seriously and I need to take some concrete steps for the immediate future to protect myself from financial ruin- or MORE financial ruin lol. He is definitely a lot of trouble, but I can see its not all his fault. I am a sucker for an underdog- especially when it is clear that I can actually help. The problem is that the underdog needs to want to be helped and needs to understand what he will have to do for that help to be effective. This guy talks of his commitment to changing his life- when he has fucked up, but once things begin to be rebalanced he will slide and go on a bender and stay away because he knows I would not tolerate such behaviour. But this has got to stop. I have made long term arrangements that I'd put off when he moved in to provide Supported Lodging to young people leaving Care, on behalf of the local authority. If the kid pulls his socks up by the time the process for me to be accepted on the scheme has been completed I will put myself on the reserve list, if not, he will have to go. I worry about what will happen to him if he doesn't wake up.
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