Stay Positive!

The generosity of a friend cemented the liberation I've experienced on being released from that job. Elation is tempered by the awareness that I have one month to turn any dreams into financial realities.

My dreams are HUGE and exciting and dependant on resources I don't currently possess, so I abdicated to my internal pragmatist and have been researching and applying for jobs. For the first time, part time jobs have an attraction for me: earning enough to keep home and hearth hale and hearty and giving me enough time to do the things I actually want to be doing would be amazing. I've lost track of how many jobs I've applied for to the point of attempting to start an application for one I'd already submitted. 

It hit me that it is just safety-blanket; I lack the rock-hard conviction of the success of the great plans I've nurtured like ancient Bonsai for years, and that realisation is deflating my balloon.

 Or perhaps I just needed that realisation to tell me to get on with it; I've paid my pragmatic dues, now I can indulge my "Creative Entrepreneur"! Like most Creatives; I've had dry, non-productive periods where pesky considerations like mounting debts forced regrettable decisions. This moment feels like a small window of opportunity to reassess my relationship with things like enterprise loans and investors, to take the right risks and to kick my plans into vibrant life. If the only way to do what I want to do for the people I want to engage, in the ways I want to do it is to create it myself, I vow to myself that I will go for it BIG TIME this time; no half measures, no compromises and no backing down in the face of anyone who is fucking frightened of me! -Too many times have I retreated from the concerned reactions of paler colleagues in an effort to calm the horses. I'd rather take an assistant manager's job in Frikken Aldi for £6k more than I was being paid managing that centre, until I run amok and lob a till at someone and am taken away in restraints!

 Tally-Frikken-Ho!
 

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