Wildewire

  The only real problem about my London trip (apart from the expense) was my inability walk far or at a reasonable pace before having to let the blood vessels in my legs recover! There was a minor scare with the place I stayed as I'd got the wrong house number, but the room was clean and I only really wanted somewhere to dump my bags and kip so it suited fine. It took me ages to work out how to buy a ticket and use the underground so I ended up being late to meet my lecturer friend at a pub near Goldsmith's. We had some dinner and then I went to see a couple of friends from 'Basement' days. Ubered back. The day of the wedding i somehow walked all the way down Oxford St on the way to the Actors Centre*/ I met Leon in St Martin's Lane and we had a long chinwag. The Actors Centre is now 'The Seven Dials Playhouse'. I spoke to a (frankly comical) 'Receptionist' when I got to the space. He told me that they had "Rebranded" with such a distinctiv...

So, I'll be wending my way 'dahn sarf' on Friday to be at a friend's wedding on Saturday.  This will be my first visit to London for three (?) years. I've known about this since last autumn but I confess a slight but growing anxiety as the day finally approaches. I was completely shocked by the prices being charged by allegedly "budget" hotels- not far off what i used to pay for a month's rent in Newcastle for just TWO NGHTS in London! The place I found has cost me £179, is not far from Baker St and looks pretty scruffy! I don't really intend to be there much- check in, drop bags, head for Deptford, meet a couple of friends, back to digs, up next day, breakfast en route, wedding (which is on the outer edges north of London), back to digs and train back on Sunday morning. I can't pin down the source of my anxiety apart from the sheer number of things that could go wrong starting with getting to the station- taxi or bus? Its a bank holiday, how w...

OK so talk about "random convergences": a LOT has been on my plate these last couple of months. I have definitely been 'dealing with it' but "wow"!  On top of caring for my foster young'un, it seems to have been the season for friends having emotional melt-downs. I have 'been there' for a couple of people and it has felt good. I've had moments of fearing I was getting back into my Mr Fixit trip, but this is very different, for a start; I was sought out each time. I'm most worried about the youngest one who in my opinion is being fcked up by his parent. It reminds me of 'Steptoe and Son' -the son constantly trying to improve himself and at least leave whilst the father sabotaged his plans and attacked his self confidence and self worth at every opportunity- all so he would not be left alone. The parent in this situation has systematically pushed everyone away, including their other children leaving this lad to shoulder their bullsh...

So, when my 'charge' asked if he could spend Saturday with his 'girlfriend' I was surprised how uncomfortable I was. Part of me hoped he'd just forget about it but that was never likely. I said I'd onlu consider it if I spoke to a responsible adult. I eventually spoke with 'the Mother' on Friday so off he went the next day. I was surprised about how preoccupied with him I was all day. The fact that I'd not actually met the mother and that all I had was an address and a telephone number bothered me. -After all; according to Children's Services are concerned, every adult with whom he comes into contact is supposed to have a valid DBS certificate. -Then I got into knots about what is was or was not necessary for her to know about my charge. After MUCH internal torture I decided to make sure that the mother knows not to leave the children unsupervised as the basis of the care training I have received. The lad came back from his 'date' very ex...

  What a week that has been! And this one offers equal excitement! Phew...Where to start? Adjusting to the responsibilities of my 'charge' has been surprisingly tiring- not that I've been gambolling over fields after him or anything, in fact; we seem to have slipped into a routine that 'works' and allows -nay inspires me to do a lot more writing whilst he is killing people in computer games :-( . Nevertheless, I'm almost ashamed of the relief I feel once I've warngled him into bed AFTER STANDARD ABULTIONS (!!! LOL).  So I came across this Job Advert which interested me -I wasn't even looking for a job, I think I was actually deleting job site subscriptions when I recognised an acronym I'd recently come across in all the Fostering stuff I've been trying to assymilate. I misread some of the details (which will be important below) and found I matched the Person Spec and thought there'd be a way to do it whilst fostering as it was another branch ...

I found myself thinking (lol) a lot about my friend's current struggles and about how he had stumbled, almost against his will, onto something that worked to lift his mood: acting happy! Of course it was more than that, but that was the basis: He realised that he had the choice of going to work with a visible thunder cloud surrounding him. He also knows that if he had done that, his colleagues would have asked him what was the matter, he would have been disinclined to answer or engage properly with them which would have created even more tension. In stead, he chose to put a brave and relaxed face on. Instead of finding that hard to maintain, he said that it became easier as the day progressed and that he actually began to feel happier! I was extremely pleased and tried to get my friend to think about the basics of Neuro Linguistic Programming. I know that a lot has been over-claimed for the benefits of NLP but it HAS been around for a LONG time and there is clearly something in loo...

OF COURSE; the payment I was expecting on Thursday didn't come. I had to contact people and found that 'it hadn't been processed so they were just going to wait until the next pay run (in a fortnight) and sort me then. LOL. I made it clear that was not an option and a "favour" was allegedly performed to release the funds by Tuesday... As EVERY deadline in last three years has been missed, I'll not be holding my breath! It is annoying because one of the barriers to me becoming a Foster Carer was that I didn't want to do it when I needed the money. It has take over a year to get to this point during which time I have been discouraged from continuing to seek external work and so I am dependant on this cash. -Which focusses my mind even more on being THE BEST I can be... which is not entirely healthy as I have been wrestling with fears that the lad will be bored because I can't talk with him about computer games and the sorts of things that fourteen-year o...