Wildewire

I have adopted a "watching" brief reguarding the Gay groups to which I have belonged. This was prompted by their indifference to the murder of George Floyd and the resurgence of Black Lives Matter and their dismissal of my requests to address ethnicity in their activities. In the case of the Fae, an argument with their defacto leader precipitated an instant withdrawal, with ECC it has been more gradual as I realised how little they've developed in over thirty years. Today, I found myself 'liking' a FB post about Botswana's government rejecting an attempt to recriminalise LGBTQ relationships. I was shocked to then find that not only was it on the Fae page, but it had been posted by its 'High Priest'(sic) himself. I thought about it briefly before un-liking the post. I have noticed that few of the couple of thousand members ever participate in the FB group, part of me did not want it to seem more interesting that it is (LOL). I just did not want to conne...

   A couple of months ago,  I wrote about "drifting"; it was a feeling that my days were morphing into one another without the sense of achievement to which I have grown accustomed when I have been employed. Not a HUGE amount has changed since then, I suppose that I am quietly accepting a lower set of expectations for myself.  I've had the last pre-selection  session with my supervising social worker before an online 'panel' where they will interview me and review paperwork etc. I hope there will be no issues- my run-in with the potty- mouthed woman in 2015 that led to ME getting fined for calling her a "Fat Slag" has been mentioned. I suspect nothing will come of it as it was a six month suspended sentence so has been vacated long ago. There are things about interacting with public sector agencies that are immensely frustrating when their actions are held up to even basic 'common sense'; individual operatives fear deviation from rules and procee...

Most of the 'training' so far has been reflective: I've been asked to describe circles of contacts, relationships, sources of support etc. I've noticed a strong emphasis on 'family histories' which I found a little uncomfortable- not because I don't really want to talk about it- which I don't, but more because there seemed to be an unrealistic emphasis on what I said about my family relationships. I resist this. I am happy with my decisions to distance myself from my birth family. I reject the bullshit that says that you have to love/respect your biological family- not if they're knackers you don't! I've made my own family! OK so, moving to Newcastle has reduced the number of people on whom I know I can unequivocally call, but that is better than the death by a thousand financial cuts I was experiencing from my mother and brothers before I disappeared to Newcastle, (it was a year before I contacted my mother to tell her I had moved out of Lon...

  A drunk friend contacted me last week. He'd called me when I had visitors and I'd sent him a message explaining why I hadn't been able to converse. We ended up speaking for a couple of hours! We've had an on/off relationship in part because of our different backgrounds but similar creative and professional aims. It turned out that it had been a traumatic couple of weeks for him with three or four people he knows having died. He had decided to contact people with whom he doesn't have a lot of contact to let them know his feelings for them. He ended up inviting me to see a performance at the end of a rehearsal period for a piece of dance he'd been choreographing. I've got a collection of music on 'Spotify' I call 'Choreography' as I see complete dance pieces when I listen to them. I'd shared the collection with him last year and he'd used a couple of pieces in the dance. I got to the venue and encountered a couple of people who were a...

  A drunk friend contacted me last week. He'd called me when I had visitors and I'd sent him a message explaining why I hadn't been able to converse. We ended up speaking for a couple of hours! We've had an on/off relationship in part because of our different backgrounds but similar creative and professional aims. It turned out that it had been a traumatic couple of weeks for him with three or four people he knows having died. He had decided to contact people with whom he doesn't have a lot of contact to let them know his feelings for them. He ended up inviting me to see a performance at the end of a rehearsal period for a piece of dance he'd been choreographing. I've got a collection of music on 'Spotify' I call 'Choreography' as I see complete dance pieces when I listen to them. I'd shared the collection with him last year and he'd used a couple of pieces in the dance. I got to the venue and encountered a couple of people who were a...

[ Pic: Black Gay Group, Gay's the Word, 1980s] It really interests me how little impact the global response to the murder of George Floyed and the subsequent resurgence in Black Lives Matter seems to have affected or impacted the LGBTQ groups and organisations with which I have been involved. I fell out with the 'High Priest' of the 'Albion Faeries' when I tried to initiate conversation about this. After I left I noticed that the ill-judged and poorly-maintained Facebook page 'Faeries of Colour' wherein the 'heated debate' occured was taken down completely. The fact that I realised that I'd made about 80% of the contributions to the page and removed them all in a fit of pique may have contributed to that. Eighteen months later, those groups are still untroubled by racial discussions. I shuddered when the implications of that hit me: At one level; I felt asked to prioritise my sexuality over my ethnicity and I realised how far I've been prepar...

I miss my hair! I've been shaving my head since the early 1990s when I noticed that my extensions were affecting my scalp! I never expected that to become permanent, but when I decided to start growing my hair again, it wouldn't. I'd had a good run, though: "Hair that moves, always grooves!" I remember that the same week I shaved my head, a Channel 4 discussion programme in which I had taken part: "Doing it with You Is Taboo" was broadcast. It did seem a little like I had changed my appearance so as not to be identified which was a little sad as one of the points I'd made in the show was that I was happy to be identified as a Black, Gay Man on behalf of people who could not. Nevertheless, I was somewhere in North London one day when a Black guy approached me and thanked me for being on the show, he'd recognised me even without the Barnet. The first time I shaved my head I didn't do it very well and travelled to work with an isosceles triangle...