Hair Today.

I miss my hair!

I've been shaving my head since the early 1990s when I noticed that my extensions were affecting my scalp! I never expected that to become permanent, but when I decided to start growing my hair again, it wouldn't. I'd had a good run, though: "Hair that moves, always grooves!"

I remember that the same week I shaved my head, a Channel 4 discussion programme in which I had taken part: "Doing it with You Is Taboo" was broadcast. It did seem a little like I had changed my appearance so as not to be identified which was a little sad as one of the points I'd made in the show was that I was happy to be identified as a Black, Gay Man on behalf of people who could not. Nevertheless, I was somewhere in North London one day when a Black guy approached me and thanked me for being on the show, he'd recognised me even without the Barnet.

The first time I shaved my head I didn't do it very well and travelled to work with an isosceles triangle of hair still on the back of my head. Staff at the Actors Centre drew my attention to it and I had to go out and buy myself disposable razors and shaving foam. Since then it has become clear that I've got typical male pattern baldness and will never again be able to bedeck my bonce with the flowing tresses of old.

I watched a programme recently: "Me and My Afro" which explored the issue of Black hair. Afros are regaining style at least for women and Black men are revelling in all sorts of things from cane rows to Locks and I am a bit jealous. It was interesting to explore the POLITICS of Black hair: how we have been conditioned to think of think woolly hair as 'unkempt', 'pikkie' etc. How Black schoolchildren are harrassed by schools because of their hair and how difficult it is to get schools to understand that their actions are nothing but racism. I found myself questioning my "hair that moves..." mantra: yes; there WAS a part of that which was connected to what was trendy in London in the 1970s when I was a teenager. I did things to my hair with 'relaxants' which probably contributed to my eventual baldness. I miss those styles although it is probably for the best that cameraphones weren't around in those days. So, 'yes' there was probably a racial element to it- though I don't remember anything but joy about having an 'Afro', my problem was that my hair was VERY thick: I needed steel afro combs to deal with my thatch. It could sometimes be like wearing a close woolly hat during the summer!

I had a weave once. It ended in tears after I ignored the instructions for washing it and ended up having to ask a friend to come over to my flat with scissors to cut the matted mess off my head! that was also quite an expensive mistake!

I'm training/preparing for becoming a foster carer. So far it has meant a lot of reviewing memories, familial and other relationships, all sorts of long forgotten incidents and thoughts are floating to the surface at the moment. I actively miss and mourn my extensions. I remember that I got 'negative feedback' from Black people when I had them. I arranged to meet someone at Brixton station one evening. He was late (as usual) so I found myself in a flashy suit with a briefcase running the gamut of disapproving looks from Black commuters and i know that "Do" was a lot of the reason for it. I was getting annoyed when two 'yardies' clocked me and changed their walk to that shuffle-step they think is stylish. I was well up for it: it would have looked bad had I told one of the "aunties" to fuck off, but these two would get the full force of my displeasure if they started. Then they changed and became respectful, looked down and walked past me. As I turned to watch, I saw that two uniformed police officers were approaching. My friend finally turned up.

I've toyed with the idea of wigs!

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