Fostering.

Forward on the fostering front!

The same week when I received a letter from Gateshead council asking if I'd ever considered fostering, my 14 year old godson's father contacted me from the Basque Country asking if I'd foster him until he finished school. I could hardly say "no" to my own godson and "yes" to the council so I agreed. I came to regret that decision but what can you do? I've written about it extensively here.

I thought again about fostering after being made redundant from the Cowgate job but I didn't because I really needed the money and thought that was the last reason anyone should foster. I can't remember how I found out about the Supported Lodgings Scheme but I think it was because I'd made previous fostering enquiries. The training and preparation to become 'An Approved Landlord' turned out to be about one or two comparatively minor steps short of the fostering training, had I known that at the time I would have 'gone all the way' so that I could have changed to fostering when I was ready.

Once I began accepting care-leaver lodgers, their stories of having been in 'Care' surprised and annoyed me: I think the worst was the family who served their foster child microwaved frozen ready meals and cooked "proper food" for themselves. One of my lodgers has been in the system for so long he is pretty much 'institutionalised': he seeks permission for everything and seems to live in fear of being 'told off' despite being months away from being twenty-one years old and approaching my build. He has minimal communication skills, is anxious and consistently gloomy: something bad happens to him every day! - Of course 'something bad' happens in most people's days, the trick is how to respond to them. It turns out that more "good" things happen in his day than bad ones but he has become so used to moaning and whinging that he'll not talk about them in favour much detail about any perceived slight. - The whole reason for fostering a child (in my opinion), is to prepare them for independant living, (and provide emotional support, of course). I am not sure that the lad I'm referring to will be able to live independently when he leaves here at the end of October, he is going to need continued support, he struggles with initiative and seeks instruction on everything (e.g. cutting an unsliced loaf of bread). 

I am convinced that I can provide more than some of the kids in care are receiving- particularly as I intend to make it my only job. I've been asking the Supported Lodgings people about it for some time but finally had two really encouraging conversations with fostering people this week and I'm excited to start the final preparations so that by the end of the year I should be ready. I'm much more open about age now that I will not be going out to work as well so I've told them I'd consider younger children- I've had experience albeit a long time ago. I made the point that I feel I have more to offer gay/bi and Black children. 

It is refreshing to feel unequivocally positive about something in my future, I've missed that.