Victims!

Sometimes my real life reactions challenge my internal view of myself. I think I am an empathetic person, I have a lot of sympathy to give and energy to do practical things to back it up, BUT... The cynicism is strong in this one! I get irritated with people who constant present victimhood. One of my lodgers encounters something BAD every single day! When he returns home he tells me of the bad things that have happened to him. It is wearing. One day, I listened to his habitual moan and then asked him if anything GOOD had happened to him that day. Guess what: there were several positive things that happened that most of us would have been happy about but he only chose to share the negatives. I tried to get him to realise what he was doing. I think if you set out expecting bad things to happen to you, you will ensure that they do! It needs to be noted that he has spent most of his life in 'Care', if the word "institutionalised" fits anyone it does him. If anyone is to blame, it is the Social Services department who, if he is to believed, did little to address difficulties he had with foster carers and believed them over him. Consequently, at nearly twenty-one, he lacks confidence and seeks permission and validation before doing anything. -I baked bread which he avoided because "nobody ever told [him] how to cut bread"... Of course, there is a thread of laziness in there too, but it is more likely to have come from being "told off" in his youth. I have tried to remind him that he is a (young) adult now and nobody has the right to tell him off in the way he fears and at least it won't come from me.

I had an encounter on Facebook with someone I used to know in South London. They haven't acted for some time but 'identify' as an actor. They have a disablement which restricts their ability to do... alot. They are open about their condition and expect to be selected for parts and for "accommodations" to be made to facilitate their performance. They regularly post about their disappointment in not being sent for auditions or for auditions to be in inaccessible places or failing to be selected for auditions they attended.

OF COURSE I actively agree that reasonable effort is put into enabling the widest selection of candidates for any job but... -Is it unreasonable for a director to cast the most able actor for a role? -My "encounter" was in response to a post I'd published about not being surprised by the people who have come forward to criticise football teams for "taking the knee"- the likes of Anne Widdicome, Nigel Farage, Jacob Rees Mogg etc- the usual right-wing wankers (IMO). The 'actor' responded with an oleaginous query, asking me about what to do if disability disallows them from kneeling down... It was so obvious I almost ignored it, but I was politely critical of their 'question' which gave them more reason to claim to have been victimised. I resisted from commenting that they are ALWAYS victimised, luckily, someone else stepped in.

My annoyance at performative victims is they draw attention from people who really need it. Those people often make comments which suggest a hierarchy of woe where their issue is more important than anyone else's. I hate that. I 'go on' about racism in my social media accounts, but I am careful not to place my particular focus higher than that of anyone else's; equality is not pie: giving it to one group doesn't mean there is less for others.

I think I will "unfriend" them, I don't need their negativity in my life- even if it is only on Facebook!