Gutted!

Today is a friend's birthday. I found out via Facebook. I sent a message saying I was happy he was still around to celebrate his birthday because he had attempted suicide in February. I thought it slightly odd when one of his friends used the "wow" emoji. I found out a little later that he hung himself two weeks ago.

 I keep seeing his face in my mind and I start to cry. He would have been 31 today.

I met him and his girlfriend when they spent a couple of nights at Featherstone during the "maintenance" event a few years ago- friends of Pinkie. I have to say that, not only was he VERY cute and pleasant, I had a strong impression that he wasn't entirely straight... I don't know about that- just a feeling. When he attempted suicide in February I made sure to contact him and let him know how loved he was- the shock wave that went through his friends was palpable. I wondered if he was strugling with his sexuality, but it wasn't my place to ask. So, his close friends must/might have thought (like me) that the crisis had past. I know there wasn't any more i could have done... I think...-It would have been strange if I had continued to send him messages... wouldn't it? ...

...It has made me contact people I haven't for a while. One of them contacted me to say that he has been dumped, is homeless etc which is pretty much the situation he was in when I first met him. I invited him to crash with me temporarily, my problem with him is that he was using (i can't actually remember if it was heroin or cocaine) when I met him although it took a while to get the truth out of him). it was hard- mainly because he found it hard to tell the whole truth. He did move in with me for a while, but when the cravings hit, he bunked off back to Consett and...

...We have been in touch from time to time. I have been warned off him by others, but if i can help, I will.

The guy who killed himself really was one of the nicest, friendliest people I have met in a long time. Such a loss.

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