Wildewire

  So, after some characteristic tooing and froing between Newcastle and Consett, after plans and arrangements, after notifications and research, the lad (see last post) did not show up.  Having been dumped, his ex asked him to dog-sit whilst she celebrated her birthday and stayed out overnight. He says he agreed as it would give him time to sort out his posessions and help clear up the mess that threatens to have her and her children evicted (which is unlikely, but part of their neighbour's attempts to get rid of them). He also took one or two of the dogs to new homes. What a helpful lad. (!) When we last spoke, he said something about going to his mother's to deal with the withdrawal rather than come to me. I did not object,  despite his mother not really being able to cope with him and being slightly irritated that the preparations I was making to help his recovery were dismissed over the potential embarrassment of him struggling through his withdrawal. I confess to get...

  I've written about the lad who walked into my office in Weardale (five years ago?) declaring he was homeless and asking for help. I ended up putting him up as I had two empty bedrooms. He contacted me a couple of days ago on the day I found out about the suicide of a friend. No surprise that he needs help again. It is a bit sad that he is in a very similar situation to the one he was in when I first met him. He has a problem with a serious drug. He also has serious psoriasis, the two things are connected. He has been living with the woman who came with him to collect his things after he'd disappeared from my house three (?) years ago. She kicked him out. Typically, the situation is insanely complicated and includes three autistic (and one other) children, four dogs and hostile neighbours who've been calling the police to the house regularly. He claims to have been completely off the drug- until recently... It is hard to accept everything he says in part because I have hea...

Today is a friend's birthday. I found out via Facebook. I sent a message saying I was happy he was still around to celebrate his birthday because he had attempted suicide in February. I thought it slightly odd when one of his friends used the "wow" emoji. I found out a little later that he hung himself two weeks ago.  I keep seeing his face in my mind and I start to cry. He would have been 31 today. I met him and his girlfriend when they spent a couple of nights at Featherstone during the "maintenance" event a few years ago- friends of Pinkie. I have to say that, not only was he VERY cute and pleasant, I had a strong impression that he wasn't entirely straight... I don't know about that- just a feeling. When he attempted suicide in February I made sure to contact him and let him know how loved he was- the shock wave that went through his friends was palpable. I wondered if he was strugling with his sexuality, but it wasn't my place to ask. So, his cl...

  Do you know what it is like to have that friend for whom you've made so many "allowances" that you're almost a different person when they're around? -Well I do. LOL, It does amuse me to think about it: I met someone when I was doing community work who seemed interesting and we seemed to have things in common. I got them some work on a Sunday and would collect and drive them home afterwards, that developed into meeting on Sundays or Saturdays (depending on football fixtures) for a Green Day experience with another friend which has been pretty uninterrupted for nearly six years... Until last Saturday... I was about to write that I have no regrets, but that's not quite true: it is sad when relationships break whatever type they are! But, as I mentioned above, I've been increasingly aware of making more and more "allowances" for this friend-  they talk confidently about things they don't understand and they won't be told anything contradict...

Sometimes my real life reactions challenge my internal view of myself. I think I am an empathetic person, I have a lot of sympathy to give and energy to do practical things to back it up, BUT... The cynicism is strong in this one! I get irritated with people who constant present victimhood. One of my lodgers encounters something BAD every single day! When he returns home he tells me of the bad things that have happened to him. It is wearing. One day, I listened to his habitual moan and then asked him if anything GOOD had happened to him that day. Guess what: there were several positive things that happened that most of us would have been happy about but he only chose to share the negatives. I tried to get him to realise what he was doing. I think if you set out expecting bad things to happen to you, you will ensure that they do! It needs to be noted that he has spent most of his life in 'Care', if the word "institutionalised" fits anyone it does him. If anyone is to b...

I'm sure I am not the only sixty year old who feels that they have been discarded far too early. My decisions have been my own: I did not HAVE to leave Durham County Council's employment nearly three years ago more than six months before the end of the contract, but a primary reason for taking the job was to repair the damage that being out of work for seven months before that had caused, more than halfway through the contract, all I had managed to do was to stop the financial hole growing bigger. When I found out that school-leaving youngsters with minimal responsibilities were being paid more than me- managing fifteen staff in a venue with nearly £600K turnover there was no turning back. Had I known I was about to spend nearly three years looking for a job, would I have left?... It would have been possible for me to turn up and do little and get paid, I met a couple of council employees doing just that, (I had to get rid of one of them!). That is so outside my modus operandi:...

Resistance to any progress in "Race Relations" which calls for white people to accept that Black and brown people have suffered under their rules shows no sign of abating as more people wake up to the historic and systemic abuses inherent in British society (!). Last year, dance group 'Diversity' performed a piece on 'Britain's Got Talent' which referenced George Floyd's murder. Racist Brits lost their shit! 30,000+ responses made it the most complained about TV moment. Complainers claimed they were responding to politics being introduced to an entertainment show, a lot of them might even believe that, but they are wrong. Ashley Banjo and the group had to increase security for themselves and their families as more and more people called them out led by the usual suspects like Luvvie Fox and putrid Piers Morgan. The BAFTAs were held last week and Diversity won an award for the contentious piece whic of course prompted another wave of criticism. People n...