Weird and Restless

It has been hard to remain... focused (?) in the last couple of weeks. I've had to shake the feeling that I am just wasting my time. Part of the problem has been that I haven't had that much to do. I haven't felt like writing... Actually, that isn't quite true: I have had the urge, but not the inspiration. Most nights I get strong rushes of ideas but even when I write them down I don't feel the same way when I review the notes. I've been toying with sparking up my dictophone and leaving it by my pillow, I confess I've never become used to dictophones, possibly because I don't like to hear my voice.

Rather than sit around doing nothing (except hours on Facebook and online news channels, I've had a phase of moving furniture around- it is very therapeutic LOL. I've moved my "office" and created more space in my bedroom as a result, it would be nice to share it with someone but there you go. MORE importantly; I finally got my shower fixed after months out of order. What's most irritating is that it took FOUR plumbers to identify a 'plus and minus' sign on the 'pressure release valve' under my kitchen sink which took literally a second or two to adjust and address the problem with the new shower unit. Previous 'experts' wanted to install water pumps, reroot pipes and all manner of unsuitable, expensive and useless interventions. The final guy had travalled down from Glasgow and was thoroughly pleasant and helpful. There is something... inspiring about reorganising my living spaces; I feel like I have increased the expectation for me to be more creative. I had a spurt of inspiration about my business support business, but at the end, after reaffirming that there is a need for the services I want to provide, I drew a blank about how to identify potential clients here.

My quiet, bookish lodger got his college results today and has done very well, I am really pleased for him. I still worry that his success as an independent adult will be impacted by any negative people with whom he associates. The other one is much more street savvie: though younger and a lot smaller, he could take care of himself in more situations. My concern about the younger one is because he will (hopefully) be living with me when I foster, I have had to include him in DBS checks. My worry is that this will flag up his immigration status: we're waiting for the Home Office to "invite" him to return to his home country having rejected his request for asylum. Unless he gets into trouble or is otherwise brought to the attention of the police et al he should have a couple of years to at least finish his studies before he gets aggressively approached by Ugli Patel and co and "invited" to leave... Actually, hopefully she won't be in office for much longer, it is great to see Home Office actions struck down by judges and BoJo is allegedly displeased with her.

The combination of boredom and restlessness is quite unsettling. Part of it is an adjustment to being content with achieving less! My work has been characterised by overproduction; doing too much; going the extra mile etc, I can't remember having had so much time to produce so little.

One thing I intend to make a priority will be to access a particular 3.5inch floppy disc in my possession which (I'm pretty sure) has a  project I briefly collaborated on with a friend in the early 1980s. If I can access it, it wil make a great way for me to start writing again- at least writing is compatible with fostering.