Fatal Fae

When info reached me about a planned upcoming gathering of UK Radical Faeries I realised I'd probably never attend one again. The event will take place in a couple of months if 'Lockdown' rules allow and there'll be about 60 fae together in close proximity for ten days. I immediately thought about how cold and flu viruses have run rampant through previous group events and expected there to be fae who would refuse vaccination and any other protections in preference for their "beliefs" and practices. Sure enough: today I logged onto their social media platform out of morbid curiosity and found a rant from a prominent fae announcing his withdrawal from the organisation because he'd seen something endorsing covid 19 'passports'. Typically and unsurprisingly, the arguments were about "freedom" et al. The ranter mentioned how they'd experienced fae talking in the past about interdimensional time travel (!) and had those views endorsed, so they couldn't understand why vaccine scepticism wasn't as acceptable. That comment spoke volumes to me: It is part of the whole "Everyone is entitled to their opinion" bullshit that antivaxxers use after they've used google a couple of times to reject scientific research going back years. I've enjoyed or perhaps "survived" my times with the fae mainly because I am mature and independent enough to experience them on my own terms. I have tried most of their... practices at least once and quietly rejected most of them, now my perspective had mostly changed to one of a diconnected observer. I have tried not to judge even their more outlandish views and utterances (except perhaps those from "the Screaming Mee-Mees") and let them get on with it. In some ways I have been a bit of a fraud as I suspect few of them understand that my main reason for setting up almost permanent shop in 'The Gun Room' producing clouds of smoke is because it reduces my interaction with individuals who would otherwise lead me to unforeseen responses! Some of them are so delicate that anything other than exhuberant endorsement is active betrayal. I've railed against the realisation that they (led by their 'high priest' (sic)) expect loyalty to the fae over any other identity e.g. ethnicity, but it runs even deeper than that: not buying into their esoteric and gleefully self-manufactured "rituals" and practices is treated not as 'disloyalty' but as having missed out through lack of spiritual awareness- there is a sense of pity from 'the enlightened ones' who are too well-bred to openly criticise of course, but who share their 'disappointment' with sad acceptance of one's failures.

LOL so why did I go so often? -I needed SOME encounters with queer people ["even weak links in the chain, are links in the chain"] AND I needed to be away in the countryside at least once or twice a year... and, it occurs to me; there was always a possibility of meeting someone... But the fae will always set their beliefs over science, they dismiss religions but embrace Paganism with the fervour of American evangelism. The fae occupy a fantasy world of their own creation- and good luck to them! -I can tell that it is a very pleasant place for them. My own life experiences limit my ability or willingness to give up logical thought for ideological fervour however fun it might appear to be -especially when I've never shaken the feeling of being welcome as a gay man but tolerated as a Black one. I find it harder not to comment or burst out laughing when a fae burbles on at me about interdimensional travel or similar transcendental ideas... No, I do not know that such things categorically do not exist or are possible, I just find it hard to accept from people who seem to have such a loose grasp and understanding of what is actually going on around them in the here and now.

The exit of the ranter was echoed by a couple of other fae in the comments. I reflected that as I too am feeling less connected to them; the end might be nigh for the group- especially as so few of them have the courage or ability to step forward to help organise the thing AND because there is definitely more antagonism towards 'the High Priest'* [* They don't actually have such a title or post, but this has been my name for the group's main organiser since I fell out with them early last year- over ethnicity v sexuality] than he realises or is generally acknowledged. To be more positive: it might be an opportunity for change, but it is a group which finds change difficult and scary. When the High Priest disappears, there is likely to be in-fighting which ignores the vaccuum left by this long-time organiser. There are many with much to say, few who like to DO anything. If the group does fold I will be sad because dispite the faults as I've declared them, there is much that is positive about them and I find myself trying to find a new group who can give me the things I crave from "community" and allow me to offer my contributions to its operation, development and longevity... Or, start my own I suppose.