Wildewire

As I'm the one living closest the Castle I agreed to visit to agree the jobs that the Maintenance Week group will tackle. I usually spend Sunday afternoons with my friend Lorraine and her mate Mick after she's locked up after the African Church at the community centre. I haven't been in touch with her since before Christmas. I was going to pop in before heading for the castle but when I got to the centre it was closed! I wonder what's going on there, but hadn't the time to investigate so headed off. I picked up my first hitch-hiker! Odd little man standing miles from anything on the A69 with his thumb out. Says he was studying in Dublin, here visiting his estranged mother. Tried to talk to me about Jesus and 'prophecised' that I was going to meet a 14 year old boy in need of help- Oh, did I mention he was drunk? lol dropped him off at a petrol station in Hexham. Consequently (?) I got to the castle about 10 mins late. Had a long chat with the owner a...

I got a disturbing call from the son of a friend with whom I'd lost touch for a couple of years telling me that my friend had attempted suicide over the Christmas period. I was gutted and glad that he is still around. He moved to the country several years ago having had it with S.E. London. Almost immediately, had a car accident AND unrelated health issues so it has not been what he hoped for.  It was good to speak with the son. He'd briefly lived with me and a partner when we lived in Hampstead after deciding he wanted greater independence than his dad afforded him- which, by the way, was much more than most, but that's teenagers for you! He's been "travelling" but has bought some land in Portugal and is living with his girlfriend in Sweden for some of the year. He'll be here for his dad on Monday. I'd lost his dad's number for some time- when a mutual friend was heading down his way I couldn't help her find his number. It was hard finding...

I bit the bullet and contacted my mortgage company now that I'm a month in arrears. I was surprised by how pleasant they were. Certainly so much better than Northern Rock. They're being almost supportive at least for the moment.  It is a major relief even if it is potentially temporary, not to fear losing my house. The numbers don't add up- by my reckoning I'm at least £120 per week 'short' of making ends meet and am implementing as many money-saving ideas as I can. I'm concocting all sorts of weird concoctions from what's in the cupboards for my daily meal and have remembered fried dumplings as a mid day filler.    I've again asked people who owe me money to start coughing up but ain't holding my breath, though I'm hoping one will maintain his commitment to give me £200 per month for the next year! Worse: one of my lodgers has also applied so he can pay rent but they've lost his claim! More delay. I will suffer.  The council still have...

Anger and depression fighting feelings of futility! Back to the slog today. Having to play the game to qualify for state benefits whilst I really want to be planning what we're going to do with the company. Sadly I can't do that until other people have made some decisions. I am trying not to bank on any of it. so its on with trawling for jobs- of course, should something amazing pop up I'm not going to ignore it, but if I'm offered an interview I will interview the crap out of my interviewers before I will risk turning my work-life over to more fuck-wits. Got to visit the Universal Creditors tomorrow so need my compliant game face! Why am I so often in the position of waiting for other people to make up their minds about something that affect my future? My instinct is to be maverick and subversive, but its like trying to climb a polished glass pyramid. In an unguarded moment I confided in a friend that I was beginning to feel my best days were behind me! Fuck! If ...

What a SHIT year that was! I began 2016 knowing there was a problem with my job but it took them until the end of August to sort it out by which time I was bitter and twisted and well-pissed off. I'm still angry about how politely I was used by the " naice " (sic) people for whom I worked whilst they needed me to continue the menial part of my job for their convenience and ignored my mounting frustration at not being able to do what I took the job to achieve. I am slightly salved by the pretty universal verdict of their dismal failure and the knowledge that things are going to be even worse for them until they finally leave. I got over the  shock of my plans for my company's "Main Project" being scuppered by the owner of the building we wanted to salvage and renovate. At the time I accepted culpability for venting my frustrations here in this blog prior to a meeting where I found that some of my assumptions were wrong but  I refuse to accept the over-r...