Crisis!

I can only talk about crises when they're over! That is a failing. The ability to ask for help is not easy for me. The last couple of weeks have felt particularly bleak- traditionally so, I read. I had a traffic jam of external expectations and an overriding threat that made it hard for me to organise and focus while my brain was in constant overload. I am surfacing after ditching a couple of things and confessing to a friend that the (unpaid) work I'd promised to do hadn't been done.

Its hard not to be nihilistic when reviewing my dogged progress towards The ICONNE Centre against the implacable resistance of Gatekeepers for whom I have scant respect. Had my Cassandra- like prophecies for the future of IcA been listened to, the organisation might still exist- it is the obvious inheritor of the ICONNE Centre, but it would mean that IcA's Trustees would have to actually work! The weakness in too many of the organisations I've served has been their governance committees. The model stems from the practice of Victorian and Edwardian ladies bountiful getting together to help the poor. Today too often; management committees are either inexperienced and inefficient or disengaged, busy elsewhere and inefficient! Its alright when all they have to do is read the minutes of the previous meeting on the way to the next and make a few noises at appropriate times.

I have had several "run ins" with disconnected Boards, at least at IcA I didn't actually fall out with them! -Though I met with someone on Monday who thinks that there was some problem- because there was no formal statement from them about my departure. This was something I brought to the attention of the Board a couple of months after leaving, as usual and entirely true to form; my concerns were dismissed as an over reaction.

There is much I would be prepared to do for the opportunity of running an independent arts development centre. My motivation is as much about proving several terrible gate-keepers wrong and showing that there IS a simpler and more effective way of delivering programmes of art and culture that DO engage people and communities. Even friends have started openly criticising my "obsession" for the Temple, despite being unable to challenge the things that fuel my enthusiasm for it. The mantra: "these are difficult times" is beginning to REALLY piss me off! I can't remember a time when arts and culture weren't in crisis and under threat. Being "Creative" is about finding new solutions to things. It is sad that so many of the Creative Sector decision-makers fail to demonstrate any creative spark and are like soulless accountants. The low levels of engagement among Creative Industries professionals to address and challenge the restrictions and prohibitions of the gate-keepers is even worse. It is hard to stand up for people who will only stand up for themselves once all the hard work has been done.

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