Wildewire

The problem with "not wanting to lead" as I wrote a couple of months ago is when nobody else steps up to the plate and nothing happens. The HUGE project about which I've been obsessing since early 2010 took a step towards actually happening last month when an offer was made for the building I'd identified as a potential development centre for minority arts in Newcastle and the North East by a property developer I'd been wooing for a couple of years. The building has been on the market since 2008 when it was priced at £1.3m, the final asking price was £380,000. Far from delight at being able to bag such a bargain, the funder who has had £5m "ring-fenced" for the development of Black and Asian theatre for about ten years ridiculed the notion of establishing an arts centre for the low price of £750,000 I suggested. Their "officers" have carefully avoided opportunities to actually venture inside the building to see for themselves that althoug...

 I often envy writers, painters, sculptors- any creative artist who can create their work without collaboration with others! They don't have to persuade and cajole and hand-hold and play down to achieve their work, they 'see' what's in their minds and they can go for it. Theatre isn't like that. Even a solo show usually needs someone to switch lights etc on and off. I love theatre for its capacity to make the impossible possible, for its ability to create magic, but it seems that its a lucky theatre maker who has an entire crew sharing their dream. Risk... people, supposedly creative people today are afraid of risk! That constantly shocks me. Recently I have watched a series of documentaries about and discussions with creative greats like the Jazz Divas of the mid twentieth century, contemporary musicians, writers, actors, architects, artists of the European Renaissance etc. Over and over, the people who "made it" were the risk-takers not the line tow...

Strategy v Delivery Now is not the time for investing in “strategy”, at least; in minority arts! I have lost count of the number of consultations and strategies I’ve witnessed and to which I have contributed since 1985. Each one promised a great leap forward for minority arts and culture, so why does it seem that so little has been achieved? How many full time UK creative companies, let alone venues are run by and for people from minority communities? How much public money has been spent to deliver consultations and research ‘on our behalf’? Why does it seem that so many of those consultations were conducted by the ‘Usual Suspects? Why are so few professionals from minority communities acceptable to “Strategic” agencies to conduct consultations and deliver reports? How did those who have the confidence of ‘Strategic Agencies’ attain their trusted positions? Why is it SO much easier to secure funds for research than it is to support actual creativity? What...

It is hard to stick to my new non-moaning rule lol. What does one do when the very people FOR whom you have been fighting begin to act like the enemy? It is a poor excuse that basic tenets of a project that has existed since 2006 and whose reports and commentaries and summaries are not only widely available but I have forwarded copies to those people several times in the last four years. They receive the information, don't read it and then complain that they don't know what is going on. They demand that issues that are and always have been central to the project be addressed. They dismiss "the past" and criticise 'reinventions of the wheel', they tell me that they do not expect me to have all the answers but direct (previously answered) questions to me. Then they wonder why it takes so long to achieve anything. I have worked to support minority artists in North East England since 2006 by helping them to present professional project proposals, developin...

I showed a friend this blog- more to show her how easy it was to start one. As she read post after post I became so uncomfortable I have stayed away from it for a couple of months! WHAT A MOANER!!! To be fair to myself, one of the reasons for this blog was to have a place to vent my (many) irritations in a fairly benign way, but this was too much! A problem with putting that stuff in a blog is NOT dealing with the real world issues that precipitated the negative responses in the first place. I needed to find a balance in my life that would stop me from actually bashing people who piss me off. There is also my perennial problem of retaining SOME dignity and not writing about really personal things in a public forum. Suffice it to say that things have changed on all fronts for me and there is a general feeling of positive possibilities in my life- even though the key work-related issue of getting ACE to release the funds to allow us to create a centre for the development of minorit...

After conversations I've had with friends and enemies over the last few days, one thing has become clear to me: I am tired of being any sort of leader. After nearly 30 years of overall success of proving and re-proving my abilities and my worth; of surpassing expectations and leaving jobs and projects very obviously better than they were before my input, I question my current abilities in a leadership role and I realise how much I now resent standing up for people who won't stand up for themselves. I am tired of fighting people in positions of supposed public service who think they're in positions of power and work only to maintain those positions for themselves. I despise those people who moan to me about the trouble with the creative sector in North East England but smile, cow-tow and fawn to the people about whom they complain. I have no energy to devote to another slog towards an uncertain goal o...

Moments of crisis are more frequent when I work in isolation. I am confident of my ability to deliver the things I plan but when I look to the people FOR whom I think I'm doing this stuff and can't find them, I question my motives. Added to that: when "wise" friends chorus concern for my plans based on their life/business experiences, it seems more than arrogant of me to continue...  I AM my fiercest critic: I check and re-check my assumptions and plans constantly. IF the people who said they would use the proposed ICONNE Centre anything like as often as they have told me in the past couple of years, it will work! Even if we gave free hires to groups: if those groups attracted audiences to eat and drink in the cafe etc it will work. If families started booking spaces for wedding receptions and other parties, it will work, if the groups who complain of lack of rehearsal and development- let alone...