Wildewire

I was a little cynical about the 'pre-selection foster carer training' I was signed up for before I did it last week. I had already done what I was told was 5/6ths of it when I became an Approved Landlord for Care-Leavers in 2019. I was also getting over a cold from the week before AND I was concerned that I'd have difficulty getting to the place by public transport. In the event, the trip was easy-enough and the council building jumped out of the scenery when I got to Byker Village. I got there early on the first day and the receptionist didn't know anything about it and tried to send me away. I was polite but terse and told her I would not leave but that I would wait until it was nearer to the start time. In the end I found the right place and found that there was just one otherwould-be forster carer to take part. I was embarrassed about my head-cold: I was producing excessive amounts of phlegm and went through tens of tissues. Anyway... I have to say that I got a LOT...

I am forever grateful to an ex partner who introduced me to 'retreat-style' holidays with gay men in my late twenties. I hid my  scepticism  - born   smirks at the idea of a load of gay men together in some Scottish mansion fir ten days as I'd never experienced a gay gathering where shagging wasn't the main or ultimate aim of the encounter. I think I was the only Black man out of a group of sixty, but I was curious and excited enough not to dwell on it. I was so used to it by that time that noticing other Black men at events etc was a thing to acknowledge. I was also one of the younger men there and automatic but polite defences were up.  in the event I was pleasantly surprised by how unlike my minor dread it actually was. Sex was certainly 'on the menu' so to speak; but it was certainly not the main course. I was hooked on the exploration of  strategies for existing as a true self in a society which was actively hostile to us achieving anything that could be co...

Finally! My lodger surprised me on Friday by announcing that he had decided that [what he had been advised when his situation was changed] is his best option. Being a 'yoof' of course; it was presented as if it was something he had come up with on his own, but that didn't matter as the important thing is that he will remain in a place where he will be supported, it will give him chances to learn construction courses at the college he is attending so that when/if the time comes for him to be 'invited to leave', he will have qualifications and certificates that should help him find employment when he is returned. There is also the added point that having a portfolio of achievements could help him make a last ditch appeal to stay. I almost hugges the little bugger. Of course, nothing goes smoothly and getting him re-registered at the college has been a bit of a nightmare, mainly because of doubts over his status. Luckily, the vagueries of Home Office policies and proce...

I find myself struggling against just letting my days pass by! This whole week has felt like... nothing. I am finding it hard not to be doing stuff- not to have goals to which I am working, I think I might even be missing deadlines! I have friends who have not worked for years mainly due to health issues, they find my discomfort amusing. I am not used to getting things 'for nothing' though I reflect on the amount I have paid into 'the system' as tax which does soften the blow slightly. I have several "writing projects"  for which I've had some enthusiasm in the past but I haven't been able to get into the right frame of mind to revisit them. Part of this is about the effort I've put into finding employment with infuriating results. It is also about the fact that I will be doing 'Fostering Preparation Training' towards the time when the older of my two lodgers leaves by the end of the year. I am committed to making the most committed 'go...