Oh yeah; Birthday

There didn't seem to be much to celebrate! This feeling seems to intensify each year!! But, being STILL broke and out of work, achieving the age of 59, whilst an achievement of sorts, didn't warrant particular effort. I thought for a moment there might have been a reminder on Facebook, but there wasn't which was fine.

Luckily, my friend came round with supplies- and a jumper he claimed was too big for him. He didn't know it was my birthday so it became a de facto pressie!

Apart from the fact that I'm one lodger short at the moment and therefore my income has almost halved, life is settled into a fairly stressless if unexciting routine. The lodger is only here for half the week so I get lots of glorious time to myself. A big part of my day is looking and applying for jobs. I really don't understand what I'm doing wrong so that I'm not being shortlisted. Is it my age? -My reputation? -My sexuality? Should I pretend to be something I'm not just to get a frikken interview? The one that PISSED ME OFF recently was not to have been shortlisted for a pretty basic "admin" job for a North East regional organisation I've served before for whom I successfully delivered an economic development proposal based on research with and involving regional agencies in Yorkshire and North West... I suppose they might have thought I wouldn't stick it out but that's surely something to ask at interview! It is hard not to be furious when I'm not shortlisted for jobs I KNOW I could do extremely well, in my spare time!

Hopefully, by next year i will have a job. This current situation is driving me more than a little potty.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bon Voyage, Mon Enfant!

Image
It's hard dealing with the lack of communication let alone discussion of my Godson's immediate future. Its hard not to view my part in his recent past as a failure. The point is that it is over and I need to move on whilst there is still some relationship left between us. I'm getting quite 'Zen' in covering my frustrations with calm.  My Godson has always been unwaveringly CERTAIN of any decision concerning his learning that was opposed to mine. He was SURE that the scant attention he gave to his studies would at least yield passes. He dismissed my protestations that higher grades offered greater prospects as irrelevant. In exasperation I finally  reminded him and his father that he was here to go to school and that when that ended he would leave my home. His school career recently ended when he did not secure the grades to enrol into the final year.  My Godson is and always has been capable of cruising through a standard UK education, but it wasn't impo
Read more

Waiting!

Image
I love working with other people and I absolutely hate it too! I love it when I get people together who agree to do stuff but I get twitchy when they're late and I remember that everyone's doing everything "at risk" unless I'm fortunate-enough to have cash with which to bribe them! Yesterday I completed my proposal for our new proposed Main Project- I'm really pleased with it and very excited to submit it, but it would be a mistake not to share it with my colleagues- they're a great bunch when I can get their attention! I have always to remember that they're not as committed to the company as I am: they joined as a favour to me initially and though they've all benefited from it at some time in the last five years... except Wayne who we all forgot was on the Board -including him lol I can't expect anything from them really. So, I get into waiting for responses and starting other things and forgetting that I'm waiting (I'd get annoyed
Read more

Gyre

Image
From time to time I notice the patterns I make in my life; the recurring themes, the 'deja vu and 'Oh, not again!' moments... I don't spend much time on self-reflective introspection out of a combination of embarrassment and fear. It hasn't stopped me unloading onto one or two toking-buddies on a regular basis, but I try not to be one of those who becomes so intimate with their own navels that they're end up being dull or even toxic. The fear is also about having to focus on the things in plain sight that I choose not to see or wrongly ascribe to factors out of my control. When I was a (sole black) first year drama student at university I was ever-so-gently cornered by all three of the lecturers and asked what I thought about playing Othello. I was surprised enough to think it was a joke and quipped that I couldn't play Othello (I was 18 and seven or eight weeks into a degree course) and that they were only asking me to save on make up (or something li
Read more