Hoo-Haa Mary!
So I hang about with this group of "Alternative Types" a couple of times a year- The group I went with on the maintenance of the castle last month (but haven't blogged about yet. I will!), anyway: them!
On their drive back after the event a couple of guys had a conversation about how they'd both felt more comfortable after the two women out of up to 15 people left. [sigh] One of them decided to share something on the group's Facebook page about maybe having smaller events for... 'specific' (?) groups. The whole story wasn't shared but ooh...! Those worms started popping out that can SO fast! I'd missed the initial skirmishes: I was talking to my friend in Leadgate about the information he needs to find out about competitors and pricing for his enterprise when he got me to sign on FB to see some of the work one of the people staying at the site has done decorating a chair for sale. As soon as I logged on a friend was messaging in fury about the conversation that had been raging all evening.
The next morning I read through and found two 'members' who'd been to a couple of the organisation's events but not recently, who had strong- very strong views on how it should be run and that it was actively oppressive to anyone who wasn't white and male. Various members, including the one who 'ambushed' me the previous night had suggested, then pointed out, then corrected and finally showed annoyance at this uninformed critical whine. At that point the accuser sneered some comment about "Cis male feelings being bruised" or something and gloves were off!
I entered the fray because of talk of so few "POCs" as he referred to "people of colour". I asked him why he'd been so surprised to encounter only a few POCs at an event in rural England? From the way they were talking I assumed they were a POC but it turned out that they were 'fighting' on behalf of those oppressed too meek to speak for themselves.
Well hold on a minute: As one of them there POCs you're gobbing about I can fight my own battles, thank you very much. I am certainly not going to go to war on an organisation that is so laid back "organisation" is perhaps too strong a term! "Tribe" fits them better perhaps. There are fundamental principles of this tribe, starting with inclusivity and diversity. Tribes, like families have individuals to whom you're drawn and those you avoid. Every day of every gathering there is an opportunity for every participant to share what they're experiencing under a guarantee of support! I rarely go to these because I fear I might "share" that someone I'd encountered was, in my opinion, a prize bullshitter! NEVERTHELESS, the facility is there, in an event where openness and sharing is the currency to be open and welcoming. If you feel isolated and unhappy, surely you need to take at least SOME responsibility for it.
I believe firmly that being upset about most things is a choice! Yes, someone can malign me or say hateful things or use my words for their own ends, but ultimately I choose to ignore or be outraged. I am tired of people who, facing their own inadequacies attack those who seem to be getting on with things. Those people rarely come forward with anything positive but lead the change to criticise. These two... individuals haven't actually been to any gatherings or events for at least the three years that I've been attending, but were making pronouncements as if they know exactly what is happening in the organisation. By late afternoon, more members were joining in to let them know that the experience of the group they were presenting didn't match what recent attendees recognised and other people challenged them about the past too. Unsurprisingly, when they failed to foment the revolution for which they'd hoped they began to bleat forlornly that they were being attacked. I'd predicted as much privately and said so publicly whilst pointing out the unsubstantiated accusations, sneering and taunting they'd employed. Nearly 300 posts were generated in that thread in under 24hrs. Ironically one of them said they didn't feel welcome so would stay away, but as they'd not been seen in person for years, I can't see what impact they expect to make.
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