Faeded Away
However... Unarmed George Floyd was murdered by policeman Derek Chauvin on May 25th and most of the world was triggered into making positive statements and practical acknowledgements of racism and police brutality. it was exciting because, since BREXIT, there has been a palpable feeling that advances in race relations since the 1970s had simply slipped away. I was hoping the Fae would join in, but they didn't- there was nothing alluding to it on their social media profiles etc. They have a 'Faeries of Colour' Facebook page which I kept checking in to see if anyone apart from me had shared anything but nothing was ever there. When the page was started, by a well-meaning Fae with little idea of how to actually do more than a slightly embarrasing inroductory message, I nevertheless hoped it would be a place where Black and Asian Fae could share experiences about what it was like to be an ethnic minority member in this supposedly egalitarian group. I saw the potential for a breakaway group to advise the core community and improve experiences for everyone. Sadly; most of the people who signed up for the group where white. Nevertheless, I valiantly posted topics for conversation and discussion which rarely elicited more than the odd emoji... That was until the day I posted a comment saying that I was disappointed that the group had not been what I'd hoped. When pressed, I said I'd hoped for a place where people of colour could discuss being Fae without observation and comment. This incurred the "rage" (direct quote!) of the person most responsible for the group existing- think 'High Priest' (!). It was fascinating to see how quickly this allegedly enlightened astrologer-cum-shaman made it all about Him, whilst accusing me of bullying, before flouncing off in the highest of dudgeon. Usefully, the exchange remains online and I think it speaks for itself. It is not the first time that I've been accused as bullying for simply stating my truth. I know that people sometimes say that when they're trying to excuse awful behaviour, but I was even placatory in the face of the onslaught. It is also boringly common for Black people to be accused of being too strong, passionate etc, of displaying the wrong "tone" etc when we are in disagreement with even the most right on white people.
It comes down to an expectation that to be "Fae" superceeds any other experience. As Fae we're supposed to be open and loving etc. They have no concept of intersectionality, which speaks volumes to me. In practice that increasingly meant an expectation to subjugate other experiences like being a Black man amongst "right on" white people. The assumption being that if I experienced anything problematic and linked to ethnicity, I was to remember that we're all Fae and we all mean well (or something) so i shouldn't mention it for fear of upsetting people. I began to realise that even though I might not experience the levels of acceptance I'd like as a member of Black communities, I am Black before I am anything else. Certainly; racists see and are most interested in the colour of my skin than my sexuality, Gay/Queer people can "pass" for Straight more easily than I can "pass" for white, -they can switch it off and tone it down should they need or want to. My ethnicity is not something I can (or want to) discard so casually, that's why it is more precious to me than my sexuality.
ALL I wanted was discussion. In the last few months, British people have become brittle and over-sensitive about 'race' as many of their cosy assumptions have been challenged, as Black people have asserted that Black Lives Matter, as statues of slave-owners and overt racists have been toppled, as heroes and worthies are exposed for their racist attitudes and fortunes based on the forced labour of enslaved Africans. I am fascinated by history and want to see the contributions of Black and Asian people to the development of the British empire acknowledge if not celebrated. I want the racist organisations to face up to the facts that so much of the wealth Britain has enjoyed was literally built on the backs of people kidnapped from their homes and sold to labour until they died. The Fae are part of the same problem: they feel personally challenged by even contemplating an existence where the Black and Asian people they enounter might harbour the smallest resentments or anger at the inequalities they're expected to accept. Brits avoid talking about race if they can. The dance group 'Diversity' racked up over 24,000 complaints for a piece broadcast in a Britain's Got Talent show which referenced the killing of George Floyd. The following week, a Black female judge sparked more complaints for wearing a (quite ugly ) necklace sporting the letters BLM. The NEXT week, a fat, Nigerian, Muslim comedian attracted more complaints for referencing racism in his act- which is apparently not appropriate for a "family show". It was like they watched the show poised to fire off angry messages.
I've been involved in some heated debates on Facebook with people who didn't see themselves as racists, but a dispassionate view of most of what they said exhibited "unconscious bias" at very least. I have not debated with the Fae- they're clearly not interested and I have reduced my contacts with them to near nothing. I noticed that I'd contributed 90% or more of the posts on the Faeries of Colour Facebook page. Partially because the page's originator, in characteristic style, misunderstood the exchange with the High Priest and attempted to censure me for 'attacking' his friend. I systematically removed each post except the final exchange with the High Priest. Petty?... OK in part, but I thought: why should I leave that stuff on there when it got so little response and I'm now being accused of... -being an uppity Black, basically? The Page's creator has contributed about three times in almost two years.
It is sad, but certainly not the end of the world that the Fae turned out ultimately to be like the other LGBT organisations I've encountered, with the exception of the Black Lesbian and Gay Centre project which, didn't get off the ground largely because it was started as a reaction to the London Lesbian and Gay Centre which they felt was too white despite having me as its General Manager. I envy Americans for being able to discuss race, the Brits are pathetic in comparison. Luckily I have been able to discuss some of my issues with Fae from San Fransisco.
Comments
Post a Comment