Pharoah's Dream

Seven years has been an interesting interval in my life: I left the madness of Talawa Theatre Company on the day Blair <spits> became Prime Minister to run a nightclub which, unbeknownst to me, was a front for a drug-dealing family with connections to the Krays and Richardsons! I got shafted and it took seven years to pay off the debt they laid at my feet. 

Life was pretty good for me when I moved to Newcastle in 2003 and remained so until the beginning of 2011 when the people I worked for FINALLY woke up to what I had been telling them would happen after the global financial crash: arts funding would be declared a luxury and cut severely. For the second time; I found myself carving out a Freelance existence in a recession.

It was frustrating to watch most of what I'd work disappear or being rebranded as other people's ideas in the following seven years as I tried to regain the foothold I'd had in The Arts in my region. 2018 was the year when most of what could go wrong did so as a result of me consistently overvaluing assumed friendships. When I asked the guy I'd invited to lodge with me TEN years earlier as an assumed temporary measure to help him out of a difficulty and back on his feet, to START paying me rent, he refused and claimed what I was asking was exhorbitant. Let's not forget the £2,000 I gave him when he said he was off permanently to Europe and I had money, but he returned within six months. When the second lodger, a serial fantasist able to turn a few terms in the Sea Cadets into combat service in the British Army finally left I discovered stomach-churning HORRORS in the room he'd been occupying which took days to return to an acceptable state.

But the rest of the year was marred by bad decisions about allowing acquaintences into my house as lodgers. I have been used and my only recourse is public shaming which I will plan and deliver for maximum effect. I find myself unable to pay my bills and with no income because my plan to provide a service for the Council's fostering and adoptions service, which I was assured would be completed by October (registration started in July) is still incomplete though I am assured mine is a popular application and it is just a question of 'procedure' but it has been exhausting.

2019 has the potential to be much better: I have a book in the pipeline and am discussing the possibility of a PHD and I have pitched for a couple of touring workshops to teach young people interview techniques and general "confidence tricks" which has earned the interest of the fostering and adoption service as well as a major children's charity in the region. Roll on the next 7 years!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bon Voyage, Mon Enfant!

Image
It's hard dealing with the lack of communication let alone discussion of my Godson's immediate future. Its hard not to view my part in his recent past as a failure. The point is that it is over and I need to move on whilst there is still some relationship left between us. I'm getting quite 'Zen' in covering my frustrations with calm.  My Godson has always been unwaveringly CERTAIN of any decision concerning his learning that was opposed to mine. He was SURE that the scant attention he gave to his studies would at least yield passes. He dismissed my protestations that higher grades offered greater prospects as irrelevant. In exasperation I finally  reminded him and his father that he was here to go to school and that when that ended he would leave my home. His school career recently ended when he did not secure the grades to enrol into the final year.  My Godson is and always has been capable of cruising through a standard UK education, but it wasn't impo
Read more

Waiting!

Image
I love working with other people and I absolutely hate it too! I love it when I get people together who agree to do stuff but I get twitchy when they're late and I remember that everyone's doing everything "at risk" unless I'm fortunate-enough to have cash with which to bribe them! Yesterday I completed my proposal for our new proposed Main Project- I'm really pleased with it and very excited to submit it, but it would be a mistake not to share it with my colleagues- they're a great bunch when I can get their attention! I have always to remember that they're not as committed to the company as I am: they joined as a favour to me initially and though they've all benefited from it at some time in the last five years... except Wayne who we all forgot was on the Board -including him lol I can't expect anything from them really. So, I get into waiting for responses and starting other things and forgetting that I'm waiting (I'd get annoyed
Read more

Gyre

Image
From time to time I notice the patterns I make in my life; the recurring themes, the 'deja vu and 'Oh, not again!' moments... I don't spend much time on self-reflective introspection out of a combination of embarrassment and fear. It hasn't stopped me unloading onto one or two toking-buddies on a regular basis, but I try not to be one of those who becomes so intimate with their own navels that they're end up being dull or even toxic. The fear is also about having to focus on the things in plain sight that I choose not to see or wrongly ascribe to factors out of my control. When I was a (sole black) first year drama student at university I was ever-so-gently cornered by all three of the lecturers and asked what I thought about playing Othello. I was surprised enough to think it was a joke and quipped that I couldn't play Othello (I was 18 and seven or eight weeks into a degree course) and that they were only asking me to save on make up (or something li
Read more