On my way!

So... I had my annual review at work. One year since starting and the improvements are obvious- not that I am actually claiming responsibility for all of them, but my contribution is clear. However: I am NO better off personally than I was when I started: I am still in as much debt and to cap it all, I find myself having to defer to people in superior positions who I think can barely do their jobs to do things I have done habitually for years... But then; they probably discovered before me that there is no actual point in excelling in a local authority job unless your ambition is to climb that particular greasy pole. Do well, and the most you might expect is a positive comment on your permanent file. -How thrilling. And, what more can one expect when working for public money?... A wage commensurate with the job would be nice.

Liberation may have come in the shape of a grant offering up to £50,000 for running costs of eligible projects I discovered. I found our Leadgate Engine Shed project to be eligible and re-wrote and re-wrote the application to the point where my Co Director, who habitually tidies up my stuff said there was nothing to change. So I sent it off and am hoping for the best. I feel 'back in the game' and am also applying to other funds. The money will not only give me a wage larger than my current and enable me to write a business plan and register the new charity and commission a feasibility study and write funding applications for an initial target of £1.2m and coordinate volunteers and sort out legal compliance and promote a community engagement programme and manage crowd-funding, but we will be able to pay the caretaker and bills.

Most important to me is that I will be back in charge of my own career destiny albeit dependent on my ability to write a good funding application.

If I lived in Weardale, I might have been tempted to stay at my job but I know I would never be happy with so much responsibility, so little room to interpret and respond as I see fit and so little cash at the end of the month. The minutiae of inane procedures conceived to 'protect' the council from its own employees takes up almost as much time as the work itself! It may be old fashioned of me to think about being "happy" in my work, but it I find it hard when I feel I have to drag my sorry old arse to a place where frustration becomes the overriding experience AND they pay me less money than the job is worth.

I have given myself three months, I have informed my boss of that but have not submitted notice. To give my boss full due later on the day of my Appraisal, he sent me information about funding in County Durham. I feel for him: he has only slightly less BS to deal with but at a higher level to me. I feel bad for adding to his woes, but I need to take care of myself!