Unleash the Beast!

I had the misfortune of enduring a meeting about Black arts policy with a couple of white women earlier this week. One of them is... well-meaning, the other... isn't. I had taken steps to avoid this encounter- going as far as getting answers to the questions that needed to be asked in advance and suggesting there was no need to physically meet, but they were having none of it.

The venue chosen for this meeting spoke volumes: the cafe of the building where 'the one who isn't' has her office. Clearly: the discussion wasn't viewed as worthy of a business setting. I survived the first 100 minutes pretty well with 'the one who isn't' interrupting and talking over me until one point where she accused me of "shouting" and asked why I was raising my voice. I continued in a quieter tone which elicited a sarcastic "Are you unwell?"  to which I retaliated "Don't patronise ME, woman!" which I happily repeated in response to "What did you say?"  At that point 'the well-meaning one' piped up with "Your behaviour is inappropriate!" when I asked why- "You're being aggressive"she said. At that point I applauded 'the one who isn't' at using her passive aggression to elicit the response it did.

I am a physically big, well-informed, widely experienced, passionate, creative black man. For five years I worked as an advocate for black and minority ethnic creative professionals by listening to  their gripes, queries, fears and criticisms and relating them- along with practical services and positive suggestions to address them, to agencies claiming to support them and their sector. 'Creatives' will say things among themselves they won't share with their paymasters and venue managers for fear of being labelled as "difficult" etc and further diminishing the support they're likely to receive. Whilst I was being paid to do that job I accepted being thought of as the only one with a bug up his ass, but no more...

The day after the encounter above, I contacted people named by these collaborators as being fully satisfied with the status quo and asked them point blank if it was true. ALL of them said no- or that it was a gross misrepresentation of what they might have shared with the powers that be. I asked them if they would join me in a practical demonstration of their outrage and they agreed (more on that in later posts, surprise will be key to success).

But back to me for a minute: I am sick and fucking tired of playing the 'acceptable black man' game and STILL being accused of aggression. It is a cheap and low trick. I look at who is developing minority arts strategies in this region and the most obvious thing is the lack of black and brown faces in anything other than set dressing capacities. "Minority Ethnic" includes anyone who was not born in UK or whose parents are not British. White skinned Europeans feature as do people whose parents are from the middle east but who were brought up in Scotland. Whilst I accept that they are part of "ethnic minorities" it is blindingly obvious that women whose skin is whiter than most Brits are easier for quangos and public sector agencies to 'deal with' than big men with brown skin who say "no".

I find this distasteful, but this is no time to be squeamish. When I tie myself in knots trying to be calm and polite in the face of refined bullshit and STILL get accused of being aggressive if I disagree, or have a different recollection of events or suggest that black people should have a greater say in the development of policies to "support" them, then; you know what? Its time to forget that crap and BE a black man sans compromise!

What does that mean?

Well: "we" are generally loud and expressive when we are passionate about things. That is often misinterpreted as "aggression" by the ignorant and the manipulative. "We" are expected to act in prescribed ways to prove our ability to manage any resources that are supposedly available for us. "We" are expected to present our cultures in ways that are most acceptable to the majority. We are told to consult with the existing establishment venues and agencies to justify proposed developments that are usually based on years of research. We are expected to find "partners" from those establishment venues and agencies to ensure the security of any public money that may ultimately trickle down to us or it won't come our way. We are expected to follow rules that white organisations simply do not have to (there: I've said it!), though most of those rules are conveniently unwritten and vehemently denied when identified.

Well, I am sick of it! I have been restricting myself for far too long and still have a reputation as "difficult" and "aggressive" I mean: consider that being "passionate" is a BAD thing for a creative professional!!!

If these fuckers think I've been aggressive before this, they'll probably be mass knicker-wetting when I actually get going and after the developments of the last three days... heh, heh, heh. Let's just say the immediate future will NOT be dull.