Samhain

I joke about being closely related to some habitually hibernating species because I always experience a dull, slowing down and urge to curl up in bed for weeks when it gets to this time of year and the clocks haven't even gone back yet.

 I've been feeling hemmed in by "domestics" of late which has been the main reason for not writing this blog. I have been forced to accept things with which I disagree and have exploded only once. I attempt to practice serenity around things I cannot change without causing even more turbulence, so, once again I bottle up my annoyance and hold my emotional breath amidst assurances that soon I will be able to live my life in the way I want to and not be restrained by circumstances I have allowed to develop. I laugh at myself to not that, for someone with a reputation for being forceful and strong, how regularly I find myself abdicating my power to the weak and the paranoid.

 Recently I have done what I tend to do in these situations: put my energies into my work. Work is a bit of a yo-yo experience at the moment with some great highs followed by days that feel like its back to square one. Still: I do enjoy working for the organisation and the frustrations of a "Community Development" job are not unexpected. The down-side has been that I have been working and coming home where most of my breath-holding takes place, with little or nothing in between. Clearly that's not healthy and adds to the hibernation urge I mentioned above.

 I clearly need a holiday. I have hankered after a week on a beach somewhere photosynthesising and shagging (maybe), but when a friend from Laurieston contacted me late last night to remind me about the "Albion Faeries" Autumn/Samhain gathering at Featherstone Castle which is only about 45 mins from me, a bloody big light appeared at the end of a gloomy tunnel and I'm plotting like a Tory to make it happen. I don't necessarily buy into the pagan rituals but I enjoy the idea of celebrating passing seasons and I like a full moon, so the idea of combining all of that with some "alternative" gay men in a Northumberland castle away from... all this STUFF seems  very right to me at this moment. if I can get all the work I need to do done by Tuesday afternoon and the blessing of my boss, I'll be off at least until the following Sunday! 

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