Wildewire

A job I particularly enjoyed, and where I managed to effect significant positive changes laboured under the lugubrious label of 'the North East Cultural Diversity Arts Forum' which meant little to anyone. The organisation was the product of an Arse(sic) Council funding 'rationalisation': there had existed "Arts Forums" for North East England African and different South Asian groups all asking for funds, so some bright spark thought it would be good to get them under an organisational umbrella. By the time I get the job the organisation had become a tedious monthly ritual of (male) "elders" droning on interminably about the age and relevance of their particular cultural background and why it should be given prominence. Personal "standing" was the most important issue: they were on that Board of Trustees for personal kudos. Their idea of an "Arts Policy" was to formulate unreasonable and unrealistic demands for access to stages an...

From time to time I notice the patterns I make in my life; the recurring themes, the 'deja vu and 'Oh, not again!' moments... I don't spend much time on self-reflective introspection out of a combination of embarrassment and fear. It hasn't stopped me unloading onto one or two toking-buddies on a regular basis, but I try not to be one of those who becomes so intimate with their own navels that they're end up being dull or even toxic. The fear is also about having to focus on the things in plain sight that I choose not to see or wrongly ascribe to factors out of my control. When I was a (sole black) first year drama student at university I was ever-so-gently cornered by all three of the lecturers and asked what I thought about playing Othello. I was surprised enough to think it was a joke and quipped that I couldn't play Othello (I was 18 and seven or eight weeks into a degree course) and that they were only asking me to save on make up (or something li...

I have found myself smiling contentedly a lot recently when I have been thinking about the fact that for pretty much the first time since I moved into my house, it feels like a home. My lodgers are a talkative gay classical pianist who likes face masks, sweets, small talk and offering cups of tea and the young straight guy I mentioned before who is shy and pretty insecure. The musician has managed to break a few things by misusing them lol and as a result of proximity to him I have consumed as much chocolate and sweets in the last month as in the previous year despite my (feeble) protestations. Living in this house has become less of a place to clean up and watch the latest installment of a dozen TV shows before bed and more of a place to talk and listen and eat together. Awesome! They're both very attentive to the house which is another first for me: one because that's the way he is and the other because he is keen to show that him being here is a good thing. One of the...